The others I have loved

My wife and I were resting on the couch last night and she said something to me that made me think.
I have had other relationships in my life and she has had others also. We have used the words I love you with others and felt the feelings that can only come from love.
In all the other relationships there has been one thing that is different.
I’m speaking for myself here, I have never seen who “I” am and how much I love myself by the way I loved the other like I do in my marriage. Let me explain, I have always been a people pleaser, so I go out of my way to make them happy, never focussing on my feelings. I believe that is the true measure of love, its not who you are to them its who you are with them. If you are true to who you are with them and they except who you are and your relationship continues to grow in a positive direction while getting closer to one another you are doing something right. My wife knows my darkest secretes and the passion in my heart, yet she still loves me. She has seen me explode into a monster and try to destroy anything I come in contact with, and she still lets me hold her knowing the rage that I battle with on the inside. That is trust, that is love. I can be me, I can have rage, I can fail and I can have a beautiful marriage with a beautiful family. She has allowed me to become who I am. Passionate, gentle, sensitive and loving. Sure I still have bad days, and sometimes fail to work out the rage inside in a healthy way but at the end of the night she trusts me enough to allow me to hold her as we sleep. She is not scared of what she has seen, that is love! I read in an article once “marriage is not for me”. So true, I see now I married my wife to support her in the times she needs someone to support her, at the same time growing into the man I have became. My wife is my best friend, she is someone I can explode in front of and not have to worry “is she going to love me tomorrow”. That is our love!

Scott Jenkins


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