People take different roads seeking fulfillment and happiness.
Just because they’re not on your road doesn’t mean they’ve gotten lost. – H. Jackson Brown, Jr.
This has been a difficult process so far and is good to understand!
It has been a hard year, with many significant changes in the family and a constant internal battle with letting go of the past , learning that everyone has their own road and that it is for them to walk down alone has become a hard reality to face.
After everything I have been through in my life and having a small amount of people who I could rely on for support and guidance I have set myself up for an internal battle that frankly I was not prepared for. Reinforced by the “I can do this” attitude I have created a separation with many around me and have become a “call me when you need me” friend. With that said I tend to overdo it a little when it comes to the few that I allow into my life, creating too much pressure into their space and journey and smothering them. Finding the “happy medium” for this is mind numbing and will take some time to grasp, learn and act on it. I have always been an all or nothing, a black and white kind of guy.
Well life is not simply alive or dead and there are many shades of grey. The journey to figuring out how to live within the full spectrum of life not 0 or 100% is key.
All this time I have envisioned that we are all on one road, “the ones close to us” and we all simply see something different on that road, that couldn’t be farther from the truth. Everyone has a journey through life as individuals and sometimes our roads run parallel with one another or even intersect, but it is never the same road. This put in perspective some of the struggles I face and knowing this is helping me to step back and let the ones I love battle for themselves and not rob them of the growth that comes from the battle they are facing.
This is extremely hard to do being “Mr. fix it” and I am resisting the interjection by adding a loving ear to the issues they are facing, HARD as well, not to add my “helping thoughts”.
My road is my road, it is the path that I have chosen to take in life and I am lucky to have someone who has chosen to walk along side me on her road. Now and then we go into the dark woods, turn away a little bit and even stop to look around. That doesn’t mean we are not very committed to our lives together and the family we have created, it simply means we saw something that interested us or that we need to work through in our own lives. I am beginning to break old habits and rethink some of my actions as well as the actions that I should not take.
My deepest desire is a healthy life, a real love and a strong faith and it all starts with the first step down the road of life