Fish In The Tree


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I rest in the light of forgiveness. I forgive myself and others for that which is done (and better left undone) and also that which is not done (and better if done). I give myself permission to enjoy this moment without guilt. I freely release all uncertainty, regret, and fear. – Mary Anne Radmacher

I like this quote, it fuels the desire for the beginning of change in my heart and sparks new thoughts in my mind.

In the past I set unachievable expectations for others and (when) they fail I say to myself “see, I knew they would do that” only to continue my self-pity and push them away more. My internal view of myself is maturing and my view of others is improving because of the changes I have begun to make in my life. If you feel in your heart that someone will fail you, in your mind you will begin to search for facts to validate your thoughts and it is inevitable, people will fail us so it is setting ourselves up to be right about our thoughts of others.

I have pushed others away for my entire life thinking to myself “they will just leave me anyway its better I cut the tie”   and time after time they did. What, should I expect something different, I pushed them away for years, and they draw a line in the sand of their life and said “enough is enough” and validating my thoughts and feeding the fire of my mind talk about not being good enough.

My thoughts have begun to change, I am enough, I am a great father, an amazing husband and a good friend. We all fail, and people will come in and out of our lives. Sometimes we choose to let others go and sometimes others choose to let us go and it is ok. Why would it ever be ok to force someone to stay in our lives or shame others to want to step out of our lives?

This is day 4 of my mindset change and I choose to be generous, honest and loving and to improve my empathy for others and the results have been a “duh, why didn’t I do this a long time ago” moment.. My relationships have begun to improve with my co-workers, my marriage has taken a huge turn and my children are responding differently to that changes I have made. All because I choose to feed myself with positivity and let it flow to my contact with others. Change your thoughts change your actions, change your expectation for others and suddenly they set a level that is achievable to reach. I read an amazing quote a while back that is begging to make sense today.

“Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid. The question I have for you at this point of our journey together is.” – Albert Einstein

We set ourselves up for failure daily and then blame others for our failure to meet a standard set in our own minds that they will never achieve.

Today I am living in the (now) and it amazes me how even the 5 second “extra” attempt to connect with another can brighten my day and put a smile on their face. I have been focusing on my engagement with others and have yet to leave feeling “let down” with how the interaction has gone. I have found that it feeds my desire to connect with others and continued relationships with those that I held at arms length before.

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