Knowing what is really going on in my life with understanding as too why I do what I do has brought a clarity and the ability to set obtainable goals for my vision.
I am a huge dreamer and often drift from reality as and escape from the stress of life and knowing that at one time in my life it was needed as a form of protection and is no longer needed. Many years later I still default to drift from stressful situations as opposed to digging into the root of what causes the stress to begin with.
My wife and I had a tough conversation yesterday and I began to set up walls and drift from where the conversation took us. After seeing and understanding what I was doing I said to myself “is this how I want our connection to be”? Shallow, superficial, and trivial or do I want to learn intimacy, tenderness and understanding?
I now understand how I fell in love with her; I remember who she was so many years ago, before children, before full time jobs and owning our home, before the stress of car payments, water bills and what garbage service we are going to use and most importantly before trying to fit 20 hours of events into 7 hours. Back when love radiated from us like light in a dark room and stress was only something we heard about.
I understand who she is to me and who I am to her and I was not exactly excited about either until now.
We have always had a way of connecting on a level that was almost spiritual, understanding what we are saying without saying anything and simply clicking. I have known from day 1 that there was something special about her and I as a team, the way others look to us, the way it is “Scott and Sandy” and the force that we have surrounding us. It has recently came to me that we are not only a team, we are a great team and that we have a huge impact together as well as individuals to come along side people in our lives. This has feed into my inspiration to step out and connect with others and hopefully make an impact in their lives through understanding and empathetically reaching others.
It has always been a dream of ours to be a part of the growth of others, whether it is marriage, family issues or individual struggles. I guess the bigger picture is that they are all intertwined and you cannot impact one without the other. So as we begin our stepping out I am excited and curious to see where we will go and how we will become a better team.