“As soon as we find someone to blame, we act as if we’ve solved the problem“. – Margaret J. Wheatley
In the past I only listened with the intent of responding my point, even if it was not concerning the same topic we were discussing. My opinion was so important to me that I truly didn’t even listen to what the other was even trying to discuss. The chance of a connection was destroyed by my lack of allowing a two way conversation to take place. My thought was “ahh, problem solved” and we moved on most of the time, never truly coming to any conclusion about the topic that was brought up in the first place.
Today I listen with the intent of understanding and taking it a step further, feeling and relating to what has been said. I can only speak for myself when I say I feel it has created true intimacy in my relationships and even opened up many connections I never imagined possible. Everyone likes to be heard, and they love to be understood. Learning to understand someone’s emotions about a topic of discussion has probably been one of the greatest tools I have learned to date.
Learning to “feel” others is a gift to both, the wisdom to seek the connection of others is a blessing and the knowledge not to assign blame is the goal.
Original artwork by Arthur Braud and has a special place in the heart of my marriage.