“The secret of genius is to carry the spirit of the child into old age,
which mean never losing your enthusiasm”.– Aldous Huxley
“Enthusiasm is not the same as just being excited.
One gets excited about going on a roller coaster.
One becomes enthusiastic about creating and building a roller coaster“. – Bo Bennett
Being enthusiastic to build a future that I was not intending on building has a huge level of fear that comes along with the excitement.
Picture this in your mind, you are living in a room, you know everyone in this room, you are familiar with everything in the room, the pictures, furniture and even the smell of the room and that room is “the vision” and you have been used to seeing this room for many years and then someone turned off the lights and when the lights came back on you were in a totally different room with different people, different furniture, pictures and smells.
Excitement and fear, happiness and sadness, lost and found feelings.. Ambivalence
One thing I have learned through this experience is that what you think will kill you might just make you stronger and what you think “this is all there is in life” is a preconceived misconception of reality. Life is not based on what or who is in your life, life is based on what you give of your life. We are all equipped to do exactly what it is we are supposed to do, in most cases we simply choose not to. I choose to see this new room as a chance again to expand on what I already have. Yes I miss those who I shared my room with and those that I may never see again other than in passing, and I will not let my life be seen as a failure or allow myself to fall apart. I choose when I give up, life is too short to live with the fear of uncertainty.