Life and death both come with their own affliction. I knew the day would come that I would have to say goodbye, and there is no preparation that I could do for when that day came.
Losing someone you love is never easy, there is no “right time or good way” to see someone pass. However what I was able to be a part of yesterday, surrounded by loved ones was nothing less than beautiful. As a family we talked, laughed and cried. As a family we were able to say goodbye to a mother, grandmother and a great grandmother. She was the glue in so many people’s lives, she was one of the softest women I have ever met, and as I explained to the family through the stories we shared, I had a special way of seeing the rage of a 4 foot tall Irish woman.
I had a bond with her that was special, she was there for me when I had nothing, she was my comfort in the chaos of my youth and the strength when I needed protection. She was my everything when I was young and as I grew older and moved into my adulthood she was always there for me for anything I needed.
Over the last few years I fell away from her and most of the family, with the struggles of adulthood I began to pull away and stand on my own feet.
I became selfish with giving back to her and I regret the time I missed the last few years. My heart breaks as I begin the process of grieving the loss of someone I loved so much. Yesterday as a family we decided to remove her oxygen and let her pass. I had the honor to stand in front of her and tell her “I love you” one last time as I removed her nasal cannulae. As a family we sat and waited as she took her last breath.
The loss I felt at that moment words cannot describe, my mind still has a hard time accepting the she is gone.
There are so many things I remember about her, but the one thing every kid in Oakwood will remember was her gift of giving food. She made the best pickles I have ever had in my life.
“Laugh at yourself and at life.
Not in the spirit of derision or whining self-pity,
but as a remedy, a miracle drug, that will ease your pain,
cure your depression, and help you to put in perspective
that seemingly terrible defeat and worry
with laughter at your predicaments,
thus freeing your mind to think clearly toward the solution
that is certain to come. Never take yourself too seriously”. – Og Mandino
You will be missed, you will be remembered and you are still loved like you were here.
I love you grandma Jenkins