Finding Peace


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With all the changes surrounding our lives the search for peace is a full time job. One day we may feel we have peace in our heart and the next it’s nowhere in site.

Today I attended a viewing for a man I met one time. He was a few years younger than I am and I didn’t know him well. He is the brother to a couple I met and became friends with. We met at a surprise birthday party and I only had a few hours to get to know him. What I got from that short time was he was full of life, loving father, husband and brother and today I stood to share my condolences to the family for their loss.

As I was surrounded by his family it broke my heart. This man was a father, a husband, friend, brother, son and was full of life. How? Why did this happen to someone so full of life?

I struggle to find peace in certain areas of life, this being one of them. We have all heard the cliche saying “everything happens for a reason” yea, well I fail to see the reasons some people are taken before they had a chance to fully live. I have lost a few people in my life that were taken way too soon.

I began this journey of writing over a year ago and for a very different reason. My writing has evolved into a tool to reach others that under normal circumstances would not have the opportunity to be reached.

I pray that I can bring peace into moments of chaos in the lives of the readers. To share that you are not alone in the struggles and hardships of life. I have started to do a lot of reading from others blogs and articles posted about general life issues and I have found that we are all living very similar lives. Yes there are different life experiences, and they all come down to a few basic needs.

I have found that the lack of peace is NOT joy and I’m struggling to find peace in some of the circumstances I have seen in life.

“You can choose to be peaceful right here and now…  It has nothing to do with what other people do or think”. – Gerald Jampolsky

One day I hope this all makes sense..

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Today’s Terror, Tomorrow’s Fear


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“It is the common, everyday blessings of our common everyday lives
for which we should be particularly grateful.
They are the things that fill our lives with comfort and our hearts with gladness —
just the pure air to breathe and the strength to breath it;
just warmth and shelter and home folks;
just plain food that gives us strength; bright sunshine on a cold day;
and a cool breeze when the day is warm”. – Laura Ingalls Wilder

The recent terrorist attacks in Paris shook the world and rocked my heart as I read article after article from the survivors of the attack.

take a second and let this story sink in..

You are at a rock concert, it’s a beautiful night the stars are out and the music is loud and much needed as the stress of the week falls away. As you dance and enjoy yourself you meet the couple next to you and you begin to yell about how good the band is playing and how many times you have seen them.. A true fan

You look around at the crowd and it fills you with energy, life is good. As the next song begins to play there is a disruption in the crowd, a bit of panic sets in and you at first think “is this just part of the show” only to quickly see something is very wrong. People begin to fall, the man you were just talking to about the show 10 minutes ago is now on the ground covered in blood as he screams for his wife to wake up, as you step back to see pools of blood cover the floor as the shooters continue to open fire into the un-armed crowd. One by one people are falling everywhere, out of fear you fall to the ground and hastily cover yourself in blood to pretend you too are dead. An hour goes by as all you hear is the screams and cries of men and woman who lost someone the loved, mothers, fathers, sisters’ and brothers. Families torn apart by an act of hate for human life. You are frozen in fear, fear to moveI don’t want to die” flooding your mind as pictures of everyone you love and that are close to never seeing you again… This sounds like a clip from a horror movie, however; this was the reality of countless people as they went about their normal lives, enjoying their normal activities, sporting events, concerts and dinner..

These attacks were personal to America; this attack was intended to put fear in our hearts and to control our minds. France is one of our oldest allies, we have stood shoulder to shoulder as we grew in freedom. If this attack does not shake you to the core then you should read a little more about how over 150 human beings lost their lives to a coward group of terrorists.

United we stand divided we fall; my heart is broken for the loss of life I have been reading about. These are our people, real people and this is personal. I do not like war and we are in one, here in America. The threat is real, the bullets and bombs are real, and the lives taken are real lives with real families. This is a truly sad world we live in and yet we continue to pretend “were safe, this is America” what if one day this is you sitting in the stands of a stadium enjoying your favorite team, enjoying dinner with your loved one, dancing at the show with friends. This breaks my heart, God bless us all and pray for the world, the Lord knows we need it.

After


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Yesterday I was inspired to write about the uncertainties of life; today I feel the need to write about how I see my future lately.

Seven months ago if you were to tell me I would be divorced by 2016 I would have told you that you are crazy, 2 years ago if you told me I would no longer have a nice house, beautiful fenced in back yard with an amazing golden retriever running around my hammock I would have probably not even responded to your insanity. Here we are mid-November of 2015 and it all came true. I now have an apartment, no dog, no back yard no hammock, no house and I will be divorced by 2016.

I’m not trying to find pity, I’m trying to explain that we can plan for our dream house on a lake; we can save for that camper to enjoy at retirement and nothing in life is certain, not even our time.

“There is nothing in a caterpillar that tells you it’s going to be a butterfly”. – R. Buckminster Fuller

With this new life I have been given, here is what I do have, I have lessons about life that have been learned, two beautiful daughters, I have had great times, terrible losses and I have a new view on how fragile life is and how precious our time is, and in the fast pace technology blinded lifestyles of today we can miss the opportunities that are right in front of us. Nothing in life hurts more than the thought of missing out on the future you have always dreamt of having with the exception of regret for not waking up sooner to the things that needed to change.

Life is far too short to be caught up in the issues that have nothing to do with creating a beautiful future for yourself and those around you. Have faith that even after the disaster in life, we can rebuild.

After the forest fires consume everything in its path the soil left behind is more fertile for re-growth.

After the leaves on the trees whither and dry up, falling to the ground and the tree looks like its seen its final day, new life blooms from the tree after a season of rest.

After the caterpillar retreats into its chrysalis I could imagine that it’s thinking and preparing for death only to be changed into something far more beautiful than before.

This next year I will learn to love life and love myself better, I will be better at being humble and forget my pride and I will love like tomorrow will never come. I could see the losses in my life as the end or I could see them as a new beginning to something better than before. Tomorrow is another glimpse into our future but the path to that future is chosen today.

“There are all kinds of futures.
There is a hoped-for future,
there is a feared future,
there is a predictable future,
and there is an unimagined future”.
– Werner Erhard

Learning


“That is what learning is, you suddenly understand something you’ve understood all your life, but in a new way”. – Doris Lessing

I can relate to this one..

There are so many things in life I knew for certain, only to find out nothing is for certain and everything you “know” changes eventually.

Thank God, who would want a predictable and pre-written life anyway. Recently I have learned that staying positive about a seemingly negative circumstance brings far more forward movement than responding negatively towards it.

I also fail far more than I would like to admit, that is also learning.

Our Limits


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Life is lived in the mists;
little is fully visible; less is certain.
Yet rejoice in the unknowing,
and let all of life be a wonderful adventure.” – Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Hold the “expectations” in life to a minimum.. What we expect to happen in many cases only leads to a letdown. There is only one expectation I can think of that has never failed, my faith. When my expectations in life have failed my faith has pulled me back up on my feet and I have always come out better on the other side. This year has rocked the deepest expectation I have ever had. I believe in family and I placed limits on what a family could be.

Through my faith I have found that life can be what you make it. I do not feel the need to hold onto “titles” in my life. I will not be defined by the titles I thought made me who I am.

I am Scott Jenkins, a man on earth that has a desire to connect with others and impact their lives for the better. If I allow my titles to define who I am, I place limits on what I can become.

I never want to place limits on who Scott Jenkins is again. I have so much more to give than a simple title.