Finding the Courage for Today, in The World of Yesterday and Tomorrow


Over the last few days waves of emotion have flooded in, most are small manageable waves, however last night was a tsunami.

Learning to not respond the same way I have for most of my life is easier said than done.

Picture this, you drive to work the same way for over 10 years. Every day the same right turn, left turn right turn, the same 1 light that just so happens to be green most of the time..
Now wake up after a long night of not sleeping and walk out to go to work and have to debate which way truly is the fastest way from your new apartment.

Life works the same way, you get into a kind of auto mode. It’s actually called (auto sequencing) and our minds automatically produce what we’re used to seeing. It is efficient way for our minds to work and learn. It can also be a huge strain when interrupted.

Here’s a good example, life in itself is constantly changing, but how we respond and react is pretty much an auto sequence unless interrupted by the desire to change.

Red, yellow, blue, green, Red, yellow, blue, green, Red, yellow, blue, green, Red yellow, green, blue.

It’s a break in the patterns we see.

Now that is a very small scale, how about when you lose someone close to you, a friend abandons you, you experience a divorce or so many other countless events that disrupt our lives.

“Courage is the power to let go of the familiar”. – Raymond Lindquist

Today I am trying something new, I’m driving the long way to my apartment, taking the back roads to get my daughter from school and keeping my expectations for today to a minimum. I’m going to try to simply be in the moment for one entire day. No planning ahead, no worrying about tomorrow and no thinking about last night.

“Today is your day to paint life in bold colors;
set today’s rhythm with your heart-drum;
walk today’s march with courage;
create today as your celebration of life”. – Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Today begins when we stop looking into yesterday and stop planning for tomorrow.

My “today” started at about 7:30am when I decided to let go of last night and stop thinking about tomorrow. I’m here, right now and it feels great to have a new day to create something the way I see fit.


The Between


It’s been a while, I haven’t felt like writing lately, there is a trick when it comes to tapping into the passion inside to write and there is a space between that I have been spending a lot of time in.

There is a space between love and hate, a space between happy and sad, a space between content and wanting more. That is where I have found myself more and more lately. I don’t have a name for this space, I am just learning to rest in it and be satisfied with where I am.

“Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom”. – Viktor E. Frankl

I have been using this time to have little conversations about my faith, my beliefs and rest from the never ending changes life can bring, change after change. I love schedules, routines, I love to be on time, I once took pride in the fact I remember everything and recently I catch myself almost likening that everything I thought I knew about life couldn’t be farther from the truth.

The truth is the plans we make are nothing more than ideas we fabricate to feel hope in something for the future. In the meantime missing out of the life that should be lived in a smaller focus on the day to day.

“If you want to find God, hang out in the space between your thoughts”. – Alan Cohen

I have been getting in my own way for most of my life, my ideas, dreams, and what I focused on has blinded me and muffled the conversation in the space between.

My mind tells me I need more, want more and even expect more from life, my heart tells me I’m already there and to be satisfied with the little I have. The quality of life is not measured by the quantity of life and today I sit humbled by the blessings I have been given and the second chance I have to begin living as I was intended. Its ok to be small sometimes, we don’t always have to be a rock star, as long as the passion and direction we are heading is a blessing not cursing to others and to yourself.

Again the battle between mind and heart rages on, today my heart wins.

I have choices to make, who to cut out and who to keep in my life and please forgive me for my distance lately, I have been in the space between. Life is full of choices, every day, every moment there is a choice. I could be doing so many different things  during the time I spent writing this and yet I feel this has an important message.

–         Don’t wait for life to happen learn to live every day to the fullest and its ok to mess-up as long as you are capable of owning your mess-up and not repeating it again.

–         Love the people in your life while they are in your life and understand as humans there will come a day that they will not be there through many circumstances that are out of our control.

–         Find the passion in life that feeds your heart not your mind, use the quiet time in between to ask the question and be willing to listen for a response.

Life is full of choices and possibilities, ends and beginnings, we are all searching for the answers to question in our lives, sometimes we get so caught up in the search we miss the answers.