I got up yesterday and before I even put my feet on the floor it hit me, today is Father’s day. The one day I get to soak in all the glory of being a father yet in my mind, today has been tainted. Yes it was my choice to see it this way and a great example of me feeling sorry for myself. I got up, fed my girlfriends dogs and had my breakfast. As I continued to have thoughts of self-pity running through my head I sat there and listened to music for about 30 min. My mind racing with how much I missed my family, I missed my girlfriend and her girls, my own girls, I missed the time I wish I spent with my parents, and one year almost to the day of a failed marriage.
“The dream you are living is your creation. It is your perception of reality that you can change at any time”. – don Miguel Ruiz
Not 24 hours before this crap morning I wrote a blog (Who Do You Think You Are) and in this I spoke about exactly what I was doing, self-pity and depression and it hit me.. I am a hypocrite
How can I write something and not 24 hours later fail at exactly what I wrote and worse expect others to trust or believe what I write?
Completely out of spite for the current feelings, I went to my Real Life page and re-read my last post, yup thats what I was doing, exactly what I said not to do!
I had to get out! I got up got my gym cloths around took my pre-workout and very undecidedly drove to the gym to fight the feelings of depression that I so comfortably sat in. I Changed the music I was listening to into something a bit more upbeat, got on the treadmill and skipped my warm up completely and just ran! Fighting to hold back my emotion, “I can’t cry at the gym”.
I ran faster and faster until I was almost sprinting. I ran 3 miles and it wasn’t satisfying. So I thought “I know what will work” weights, heavy weights. I focused on my workout, what body part I was going to do and began to forget all about what I was feeling not one hour before. It worked!! A total of 6 miles Between the gym and Celery Flats (a local walking trail), and about 45 min of lifting cured my day, I ended the workout with a selfie, yes a selfie, oh and I posted it on Instagram and Facebook just to remind myself of this day next time I am feeling sorry for myself. Yes it’s the picture to this blog.
Yesterday my truth, opinion of myself and my situation were distorted. I had to get out of the house and fight what I was telling myself. The day did a complete 180 and I ended up having a great Father’s day. It took action and dedication to get over the hump of unhappiness that I was experiencing.
Life is what we see it, it can be beautiful or it can be ugly. It’s a choice we all make many times a day.
“Everything we hear is an opinion, not a fact. Everything we see is a perspective, not the truth”.
– Marcus Aurelius
Be cautious of what you “know” to be true and look deeper into what you tell yourself. Today is a new day and with that comes a completely new challenge, be careful not to carry yesterday’s garbage into today.