Am I a Racist 


 

I have spent the last 45 min browsing the Internet and YouTube and my heart is broken for what the world is today.
I have watched so many videos of men, specifically black men losing their lives by police shooting and killing them.

I can’t imagine what is going on in that moment in the minds of either. However from the outside looking in I see a huge problem with fear of the unknown. The mindset today for many people is a black man with a gun is a criminal and a white man with a gun is exercising his 2nd amendment. Well that argument fell flat as I watched a Black man with a concealed carry permit voice his warning of having a weapon on his person get murdered.
Now you can say it’s not about race, you can argue that these men are not racist. However the fear and actions that have been taken recently are very race related.  

It’s people that have fallen and believe the lies that everyone is the same and view a single race as good or bad. Even our children are picking up on the messages they hear. I may lose friends for saying this and I don’t care. I’m not on earth to make friends, I’m here to spread a message and stand for what my heart tells me to stand for.
It’s people like Donald Trump, spreading the racist comments, all Hispanics are rapist, what is that. Why would anyone support the generalization of one race and separating that entire race and saying “yup, their all bad”.
Another that does a similar persuasion is Hillary Clinton, only she is much more subtle, she has a “I’m white and superior” tactic.
These messages poison our minds and our youths minds. They spread the fear that is fueling the killings we have seen lately.

We tend to gravitate to a place of comfort, as children it was our “group” or our “clicks”. We all had them, jock, stoner, goth, nerds. Today our clicks are Democrat, Republic or Green party and we cast out everyone else as incorrect in what they believe. How about we use our minds and take a stand for what is right not what everyone else is doing.

This world is being ran by children harboring wounds and resistant to let go of the time daddy beat me, or mommy didn’t come home. It’s no wonder we are falling apart as society.
I am white, I will never try to begin to understand what it’s like growing up a Black or Hispanic child, I cannot fathom the daily stress I would give up if I handed over my white privilege. If you can sit here and tell me for one second there is no such thing as white privilege, you are part of the problem.

I have a story to tell you, this is absolutely true and I will not use names to protect him. Let’s call him Stan, Stan was a tough Black boy. He looked me in the eyes every day and I backed down, until one day.
I was sent to a mostly black school as a child for a trial or test, maybe even a social experiment. They called it “busing” I was a skinny very tall white boy in a mostly Black school and it’s here I had my first account of white privilege. We had a class school for purchasing supplies, pencils, pens, erasers and even some small toys. I stole one and hide it in my pocket, brought it back to my class and was caught. I told the teacher I saw Stan drop it and he was trying to steal it. He was sent to the office and I was rewarded for my service. Would this be the same result if Stan told on me?

I’m not proud of it and have never told this story. I am to this day ashamed and it taught me something, I am white and with my smile I can get just about anything I want. Am I a racist, my honest answer is I don’t know. I have a great friend, probably one of my deepest friends is a Black man, but am I a racist?
I think I have more fear of someone with nothing to lose than a Black or a Hispanic man. I do not fear color, I fear ignorance, I fear close mindedness, judgment, I fear what our children are seeing and bringing home.. I fear to see what the next 40 years will look like if noting changes. 

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