Finding The Heart of Gratitude



Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life.
It turns what we have into enough, and more.
It turns denial into acceptance, chaos to order, confusion to clarity.
It can turn a meal into a feast, a house into a home, a stranger into a friend.
Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today, and creates a vision for tomorrow.
– Melody Beattie

Last night after I got home, tucked my girls in and sat down to process the workday and night I just had, something hit me. I just went trick-or-treating with people that in so many cases would not be together. The group was made up of myself, my girls, my girlfriend and her ex-husband and their two daughters, his girlfriend and her daughter and it was only after that I got home and sat down I thought to myself, “wow, that was special”.

I am in no way bashing or speaking negatively about my ex-wife, we are not there yet and I’m not sure we will ever be. The thought of that breaks my heart, the thought that we may never come to a middle ground of understanding for our girls really hurts. Yes it’s just as much my fault as hers; I have some healing to do as well. Last night was just a powerful statement to the world around us and who knows who we all are. The look on some people’s faces when it hits them, “wait, they are all together” says more than words could. It’s a huge blessing to have what we have, we are not only two families blended here, that makes it even more powerful.

I have some work to do on my end, maybe some pride to suck up, a little anger to let go of and some wounds to allow healing to occur. Time will tell what my girls will get between their mother and I, my hope is that I could have what I see with my girlfriend and her ex-husband. I can honestly say it’s not only cordial between us all, we can laugh, connect and I have even worked out, ran and had beers with Curt.

Today I’m thankful for the wonderful woman I fell in love with, her willingness to maintain relationship with the father of their children and that I can be a part of that. It gives me the power I need to see what I need to do for my girls. My girls come first, and it’s so hard to let go of the pain, aggression and hurts.

One day I hope and pray I can meet my ex-wife like the wonderful example I see with my girlfriend and her ex-husband. My heart is full and I can’t help but hurt for what my daughters could have but do not yet have.


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