Over the last few days I have been trying to update and upload all my personal pictures to Google and have found a box of home movies on 8MM. I was shocked when I plugged in my external hard drive to upload the pictures and back them up in Google, it said “calculating upload” for about 30 min and then the number hit me even harder. Over 57,000 images… Wait, really 57,000 pictures, Mock me if you want however I’m so thankful for every picture and video I have now.
It has been 3 days now and the upload is complete, I now have pictures from 1996 – 2017 safe and backed up to my Google account. I have been looking at year after year that have been forgotten due to, well, life.
I have always loved to capture moments and this is why. Our memories fade, we forget, we lose track and now I have literally thousands of memories and events to restore my memory. I have also found that comes a price, some things should be forgotten, some events do not need to be remembered and relived. This has been somewhat of an emotional week after seeing my daughters as infants, old pets that are no longer with us and some friends that I no longer in my life.
But at the end of the day I have peace in my heart because as “beautiful or ugly” as some of the memories are they have lead me to the road that I am on right now. I do not regret anything, however I have remorse for how some of the events in my life played out.
Today I stand here with a totally different outlook on life than I had 10 years ago. In the past I needed to feel complete, I desired to feel “okay” and I wanted my path to have purpose. Now I know I’m not complete, I understand being “okay” is subjective and the purpose of my life is dependent on the actions I take and not something that can actually be reached.
“The simplification of life is one of the steps to inner peace.
A persistent simplification will create an inner and outer well-being
that places harmony in one’s life”. – Peace Pilgrim
I am learning to live simple, think less, feel more and finding the wisdom to take the time I desire to keep myself healthy and balanced. Looking at who has come and gone from my life I am beginning to see how much I took personally, when someone left my life I believed that there was something wrong with me or something I have done or not done. I have learned that we are all on our own journey trying to fulfill a purpose. No one owes me anything, I do not owe you anything, we are simply individuals living our own lives and it’s an honor if you choose to be involved in my life.
We do not own anyone, they do not own us and learning that truth is truth regardless of if it hurts or not is the simple basic law of life. Today I feel amazing, I feel as complete as I was intended to feel, I am loved well and and trying to reciprocate genuine love back.
One day this will all be gone, this life, these things, my pictures will be how someone remembers me. Taking our beliefs out of the topic we get one shot at living life, I am creeping up on half way through the average life expectancy of a male. Although none of my life was a waste, I feel like I needed a wake-up call, I hope my words can be your wake-up call.
Love life, even in the torment of life there is beauty if you look hard enough.