Hold on With Loose Hands


Maybe this “life thing” isn’t as hard as we make it.

In dwelling, live close to the ground.
In thinking, keep to the simple.
In conflict, be fair and generous.
In governing, don’t try to control.
In work, do what you enjoy.
In family life, be completely present.
– Lao Tzu

I remember a time when I was always anxious. From the time I woke up in the morning until the time I tried to sleep at night I felt anxious. What will work be like today, what am I making for dinner, how is my relationship, how are my friends, my family, are my daughters okay, am I a good father, am I a good enough friend, what can I do to help, how is my faith…. on and on

Life changes and seeing that all the worrying in the world cannot stop life from changing I now sleep at night, I care about others however I care for myself first, I focus my energy on now, not tomorrow or yesterday. I had someone tell me recently that they see a huge difference in who I am today as opposed to the past few years.

I think it was a combination of things, a job that was unfulfilling, a relationship that was damaged beyond repair and most of all I was not being honest with myself about any of my life. Lying to myself and trying to make something out of nothing took so much energy from what was real and true that I had no energy to offer my happiness.

Learning to give energy appropriately is so very important to our well-being.  Today I know that I must come first if I ever want to be capable offering anything to others. If I find my center and focus on what makes me happy my energy level is full enough to joyfully be with others.

It is nothing I can tell you, It’s not an instruction I can write or a step by step process that can be followed however it is simple when you can be honest to yourself; here are 5 “rules” I try to follow and live by now.

  • Do what makes you happy – but don’t be selfish and inconsiderate. Find what makes your heart happy and have the courage to change.
  • Follow your heart fearlessly – learn to let the fear of change flow in and out of your mind and understand that change IS a part of life not something to avoid.
  • Always be honest about your situations – How do you feel about what is truly happening in your life? Does it help you? Does it feed or take away from your life?
  • Give energy appropriately – If the energy you give is not reciprocated back you may want to reevaluate how much energy you are giving. (I do not mean keep score; there should be a flow to this, we cant always be 100%) 
  • Have someone or something to look up to – Have faith, find a mentor, someone that has been through what you are going through. There is SO much power in understanding and being with someone that understands. Also realize that with the exception of faith, we are all humans, we all fail and if the one you have chosen as a mentor, partner or friend one day is not in your life that is okay. life will continue, love will happen and change can be more fulfilling than you ever imagined.


Don’t cling to anything; change is unavoidable so hold on with loose hands and understand that noting is forever, everything will change at one point or another. Be thankful for the energy others give you because it is a part of who they are. Think of life like a rope, let it glide through your hands, don’t try to grab it you will get burned and don’t let go or you may lose your way.


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