Losing Keys


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I can’t describe what an emotional few days it has been in words; the best I can offer is it’s been like a whirlwind in my head. A little over a week ago I received the news that my grandmothers health was rapidly declining and her illness has reached terminal. Not fully understand the reality of the situation I stopped by to visit with the girls. As we walked in she was resting, such a beautiful peaceful rest too. It was so precious I told my grandpa not to wake her, she needed rest.
As we sat there and whispered to one another about the normal topics with grandpa, who has a boyfriend, who is about to drive and get into all kinds of trouble and after about 20 min he ran out of amazing one liners so we decided to wake up the real talker.
As she woke up she looked a little confused as to what was going on and why we were there. After a few minutes she began to come out of the sleep fog and chat a little. Although she was definitely not the normal fiery redhead full of energy she was on a normal day. We carried on for a bit until we were interrupted by some business that needed to be discussed with some of the family, so I gave her a hug and said “see you later grandma” as we walked out; totally thinking I would see her again. That was the last time I would see her…
Later that week I went out of town on business and while on business I received the phone call I really wasn’t ready to receive. “Scotty, Grandma has passed away” I didn’t know if I should cry or smile knowing she was not in pain, she could breathe again and in a much better place. Putting my personal life on hold I informed my team of the news, to hear from one of the other teammates that Chris Cornell has committed suicide. With the passing of my grandmother the news was harder to not feel through team and set the tone for the day.
The family talked here and there about the details of the viewing and funeral arrangements for grandma and they were set to be held on Tuesday. Monday morning I received another phone call from a friend at work that a co-worker has passed away as well on Monday morning. Already full of emotion due to my grandmother passing it hit me hard, but not as hard as what was coming. As I grabbed my car keys later that day I saw this little item on my keychain. Something so insignificant and small yet so full of meaning, there it was, a little key.
I know you may not understand the meaning of this key; let me explain. Remember when you were younger and you bought the yin-yang friendship bracelet or neckless for you and your best friend. This little key was given to me because we worked a lot of overtime and also loved music. My co-worker had brought in a nice Bose speaker and didn’t want anyone to walk off with it so we decided to lock it up. I had one key he had the other. It was a trusting gift between him and I.
This morning I’m sitting here with this key, trying to figure out what to do with it or who to give it to.
Life is like that, something so meaningless as a key can hold so much emotion or something as precious as a hug that may be the last hug you give. Today I’m really struggling, my heart is broken, my friend is gone, my grandmother no longer here to bicker with my grandpa. Today I’m sitting here holding so many keys that others have given me. I’m keeping this key, it was a gift of trust and friendship and I’m holding onto the last hug I gave my grandma. My heart hurts so badly today struggling to find a way to process the losses in my life not only to death some losses are lost due to not living bold enough. R.I.P. Mike (money) Meister I will miss you

IMG_20170523_175025_287.jpg   I love you and will miss you Dorothy E. LaCoss

April 21, 1935 – May 18, 2017

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