I’m Black and White, 100 or 0, an All or Nothing Guy


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“Fear is the cheapest room in the house. I would like to see you living in better conditions”.- Hafiz

Who are you and what the life you live say about who you are?  More importantly, who do you want to be? As I grow older I’m learning to let go of how I think others think of me and focus a little more on who I am to the people in my life. One thing I am really trying to focus on is the “all or nothing” outlook in my life and the black or white thinking.

I really don’t have many “close” friends and I hold a select few family members dear to my heart, all the others I tend to neglect.  Over the last few years I have really let go of trying to please others, unfortunately with my all or nothing trait and my black or white thinking I let relationships fall apart and focus more on the ones close to me. To be honest I see pros and cons to this and I also know that if I want something different for my life I need to do something different. I guess it’s all reinforced by the fact that I really don’t like help, I like to do things for myself and sometimes feel I don’t need anything or anyone.
“When I let go of what I am, I become what I might be”. – Lao Tzu

Life is not this or that, nothing is for certain, it’s not black or white, and nothing lasts forever. Sometimes we have to step out of what we think we know and try to live with what we do not understand.

I do not understand how I got here, where my life took all the turns, when I became so focused and almost selfish with myself. I know I do not like some of the things I have going on in my life but I have a few that are more amazing than anything I have ever had. I’m learning to give in to the idea that life will be what it is. There is a direction I am heading, I need to open up some areas that I swore I would never open again and see that whatever future I end up with was because of the actions I took. The outcome of our futures are no one’s fault but our own.

“Follow what you are genuinely passionate about and let that guide you to your destination”. – Diane Sawyer

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