I see now that I have been so proud in my life that I was too proud to even admit it, let alone change my ways. How much in my life would have been different if pride wasn’t so prevalent in my life? It is all very clear now that what I have lost in my life may be partly my fault. Over the last few yeas I have allowed humility to take over and beginning to dismiss the boastful pride in my life.
“It was pride that changed angels into devils;
it is humility that makes men as angels”.
– Saint Augustine
I had so much pride in my life for the appearance of everything. I had pride for a broken marriage that appeared perfect from the outside, the image of a perfect life with two beautiful daughters, what appeared to be a successful job yet I financially struggled, had to have the nice cars to uphold the “I’m doing well” look. I was SO proud, and social media was a way to show off.
“The proud person always wants to do the right thing, the great thing. But because he wants to do it in his own strength, he is fighting not with man, but with God. God opposes the proud, but gives grace to the humble. Pride is pleasure arising from a man’s thinking too highly of himself”. ~ Google (pride)
Almost 3 years later I desire to connect with people more and things less; I live in a small 2 bedroom apartment but completely satisfied because its mine and I work hard to pay for it. I have an opportunity to love again and seeing that love can be so different than the image I gave so much power to. I have far more with far less than I ever have had and I see now I was nothing more than a prideful man with a beautiful smile and Instagram filter.
The truth about where I am today, I am right here where my heart meets my path into the future. I don’t really care to label so much, plan every detail, or live so far from the day I am in. I cherish the little things more, and the time we share that only we know about. I spent so much time in the future that I truly fail to remember much of the last 10 year other than the big things like vacations; even those are foggy in my mind.
“Things turn out best for the people
who make the best of the way things turn out”.
– Art Linkletter
Yes I do post quite often on many forms of social media however it’s from a different place in my heart. I am proud of my life and my accomplishments but only proud for what I have done not how it appears. I’m proud in my heart not from my mind and smile. I’m ashamed of the pride that has driven so much of my life, and yes I have more areas to shine a light into.
Admitting and shining a light on my pride only humbles my life further. I really wish I could take some things in life back, all I can do today is not repeat the past and live fully in the day.