Only For a Brief Moment


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Some people come into our lives for a brief moment, some stay for years. Some enter our lives gentle and quiet and some come like a storm. The day I met the man referred to as “Barry“, I remember it like yesterday, and if you knew Barry, you will understand. Barry was an energy force all of his own.

The day we collided, we were standing about 10 feet apart on the beach watching our children play in the sand, no words, nothing but a glance and nod, “you know, manly acknowledgement” because “hello” was to hard to get out when you meet someone new.

It wasn’t long after that the 10 foot separation between us was now completely gone as we watched our children play together as proud fathers, almost saying to one another “look what I made” as we  talk about our children and how great they are.

They say people have energy about them, I fully believe this to be true. That day my energy met someone with the similar energy. As we began to toss jokes back and forth, most people do one of two things. One, they laugh, but clearly they do not get my sense of humor or two send a joke back and see if I get it. This to me is how funny people are different from normal everyday people. Funny is a language of its own, and my friend you spoke it amazingly well.

We spent the rest of that day sipping on “dad juice” and laughing until our stomachs hurt. I guess we passed the test, and our families met later that day. The rest of the weekend was a blur, as were the years to follow.

There are many stories, many long nights filled with laughter, late night random texts and phone calls.

“A butterfly lights beside us like a sunbeam.
And for a brief moment its glory and beauty
belong to our world.
But then it flies on again,
and though we wish it could have stayed,
we feel so lucky to have seen it.”

It all came to a stop to soon, and I miss you already my friend, I texted back but it was a day late. I called back, however the owner of the number is no longer taking phone calls.

So like many loved ones, I sit here and remember the times we shared, the nights I thought I couldn’t drink anymore, (but you proved me wrong) the laughter, the times our families were able to spend together.

I’d give all that up if I could have talked to you just one more time and tell you how much you impacted my life and that everything will be ok one day. We will never get to finish the conversation we started in the picture above and my heart breaks that I may have missed your quiet cry for help.

To everyone reading this, please do not struggle alone… ASK FOR HELP, it is a sign of strength not weakness. Even two little words can set in motion a cascade of help. “help me”. I do not know one person that if asked would say “no, I can’t help” to someone that needs it.

Life is a fragile and precious gift, its our duty as fellow humans to reach out when people are in that dark place, and to be the light in someones dark time. We all struggle from time to time, we all have been in dark places. Remember when you had help and be that to someone else.

 

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3 thoughts on “Only For a Brief Moment

  1. Dear Scott, based on anguished experience I can tell you how I see it from here. I’ve been in both shoes, having to ask for help and being close to someone who didn’t ask.

    Asking for help…please, please do!!! If the people closest to you aren’t able to help you, go to trusted friends, your doctor, the helpline, anything. All you feel is pain and so very alone but use that last tiny bit of energy to save you and all those who love you. Make a list of all those your absence would affect…all family, all friends, all coworkers, anyone you gave a smile to… Accept the help, for them until you can accept it for yourself. I did, you can as well.

    Now the other side of the fence. Scott, I’m sure your friend felt the same way about you. In fact, you probably kept him going more times than you know. Maybe he just couldn’t pull it off one more time. Maybe there’s a reason he didn’t give you time to call back, it’s not your fault. We lost my husband’s son in late July, 2016. We knew things were rough for him, we did all that was humanly possible to extend love and help, his disease did not let him accept it. We think he was no longer taking his medication. Our hearts are broken but we’re doing all we can to fill with love the lives of our daughter in law and granddaughters.

    I also lost a cousin quite a few years ago. I understand the unbearable pain but I also know the pain of those left to carry on. Trust me, there are people who would do anything to have you here. Scott and I know that pain too well, as do too many others. It’s not being weak, it’s not shameful. In saving yourself, you save so many others. Please.

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  2. Thank you! I miss him so much. The pain and the responsibility to keep the family going is intense. He did enjoy his time with you. He was a puzzle we could not put together. His illness and despair did not let him listen. I tired of telling him that we will be Ok, to please get help. Now my kids and I have to go through life without him and it’s not fair. Oh how I miss him.

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    • I know you do and I’m so sorry that you are left to hold all the pieces. They are lucky to have a mother like you though and he will never be forgotten. You will forever see him in the smiles and laughs of your beautiful children. ❤

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