Take Control of What You Can Control


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What is it that motivates you in life, what is the fuel that makes you do the things you may not necessarily want to do? What are the thoughts that push you to fight through the muscle pain and go to the gym? Is it fear of failure? Is it addiction, is it dedication or the desire to becoming a better version of who you are today?

I guess it really depends on what aspect of life we look at. I do not feel the same regarding work as I do my daughters, and as for my fitness and healthy living journey I would say it’s a fine line between addiction and desire to feel better and healthy.

My motivation is partly vanity, I admit, but mostly the desire to feel good and to do everything I can now to add length to my life. Being able to move is probably something you may not think much about. What would you do if slowly over the years you began to weaken, your bones becoming more and more brittle, your movements more of a struggle or even so painful that you chose to limit them all together, reducing the rate of mobility further.

The worst thing we can do is give up on living healthy by sitting around and it begins with the little quiet thoughts of procrastination, I’ll do it tomorrow and honestly I’m the worst at that! If I say that for more than 2 days for many topics in my life there is a pretty good chance it’s not going to happen. So when people ask me why do you post and go to the gym every day? There are two reasons:

  1. I post my check-ins for accountability, I have friends that do the same thing and it’s a way of saying (I’m here guys).
  2. I know that if I skip more than 2 days there’s a good chance that will turn into a week, a month and the slow declining desire to move and eventually eat healthy all together. I know me!

A quick update, inspiration and hopeful motivation.  

Still Intermittent Fasting (18/6 or 20/4) and I’m pretty sure that will be something I have in my tool box of healthy living for the rest of my life and don’t see any reason to stop. Today I weighed in at 174 lbs. (79 kg) a new low for me. With my weight being measured from a scale and leveling off I’m looking into getting a body fat % reading done soon as a way of tracking my fat loss. My “diet” is not really something I am naming anymore, its just not important to me to label my food. I eat as many whole foods as I can, and try to limit processed foods and supplements as much as possible.

“The strength of a man’s virtue should not be measured by his special exertions, but by his habitual acts”. – Blaise Pascal

I hope to show by example in all areas of my life the possibilities that a positive mind can have in overcoming struggles in life. I hope my life represents power, gives hope and strength to the many people that are suffering and experiencing hardships in life.

We are all fighting something in life, you are not alone, don’t fight alone. I have someone that has been on my heart lately that is facing the fight of their life. Please stay positive, fight the little battles one at a time, never lose your smile and know that there are many people that care about you and that need you.

What if we All Gave A Little More Than We Thought We Had?


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There is so much pain in life, season after season. There are seasons of joy, peace and comfort and season of struggle, turmoil and pain. I’m learning to cherish so much more as I get older and at the same time see the pain all around more deeply.

Everywhere I turn there is destruction, hatred and terror. Even if I try to not watch the broadcasts, filter my internet, and spend less time on social media, there are my circle in life.

So many of my friends and family are struggling with their lives, relationships and family issues right now. It really discourages my heart to see so many people in my circle suffering knowing that I too have and not offer a hand.

I don’t have the power to promise forever or give security that I’ll always be in anyone’s life, but I can try my best to work on what’s in my heart and hope that it inspires change in those around me.

Too many people feel they have the power to change the world by force, the secret is we do have the power, However it’s not by force, wars or protests. It’s by being an example of love and respect and and having an open mind to things that are different than what we believe.

Think about it, have you ever changed something in your life for the better because you were forced to? It’s a much better outcome to feel your heart move and desire to change. 

I want my girls to know that I did my best, not just what had to be done. I want them to feel and see that we all have power to help improve our circles.

It begins with being open, honest, respectful and willing to change the things in our lives that build up walls and close off hearts.

I once believed with a deep seeded pride that I had the power to offer forever, to give security and that I could control my future. It breaks my heart today to see I have never been in control of anything other than my actions, beliefs and how I treat others.

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I want to give my forever to Jennifer; I know deep down she deserves it, unfortunately I don’t have that kind of power. I want to provide security that everything will be perfect in life for my girls, but it would be a lie. Everything is not going to be perfect, but it will be okay.

There will be loss, headache, and things that happen that we will never understand. We can choose to let it harden our hearts and build walls or open our hearts more to show love past the pain we feel and tear down the walls we put up out of fear for the pain we faced in the past.

I have felt the biggest heart breaking, soul changing experiences I could ever imagine. As many of us have, and I learned to love again, but not the same. I have felt loss of a loved one that I never thought I would make it through, and I’m still alive to celebrate their lives they had.

We have all seen some terrible things and been through some things that we just knew we wouldn’t make it though, and here we are to read this.

In the midst of the storm we often fail to see past the clouds; that doesn’t mean the sun is not there. It means our perspective is focused on the storm we are facing not what is on the other side. The choice is ours to allow our hearts to open or close and our walls to go up or come down when we get to the other side of the storms we face.

I would love to stand tall and proudly say I’m not afraid of anything, but I am. I’m afraid that my daughters will feel the pain I have felt in my life. I fear that I may not be able to offer what Jennifer needs due to the past heart breaks I have had. I fear that I will let my day after day life take over and not give my family the love they need before it’s too late.

Pride is the Mask We Use to Cover Our Failures


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I see now that I have been so proud in my life that I was too proud to even admit it, let alone change my ways. How much in my life would have been different if pride wasn’t so prevalent in my life? It is all very clear now that what I have lost in my life may be partly my fault. Over the last few yeas I have allowed humility to take over and beginning to dismiss the boastful pride in my life.

“It was pride that changed angels into devils;
it is humility that makes men as angels”.
– Saint Augustine

I had so much pride in my life for the appearance of everything. I had pride for a broken marriage that appeared perfect from the outside, the image of a perfect life with two beautiful daughters, what appeared to be a successful job yet I financially struggled, had to have the nice cars to uphold the “I’m doing well” look. I was SO proud, and social media was a way to show off.

“The proud person always wants to do the right thing, the great thing. But because he wants to do it in his own strength, he is fighting not with man, but with God. God opposes the proud, but gives grace to the humble. Pride is pleasure arising from a man’s thinking too highly of himself”. ~ Google (pride)

Almost 3 years later I desire to connect with people more and things less; I live in a small 2 bedroom apartment but completely satisfied because its mine and I work hard to pay for it. I have an opportunity to love again and seeing that love can be so different than the image I gave so much power to. I have far more with far less than I ever have had and I see now I was nothing more than a prideful man with a beautiful smile and Instagram filter.

The truth about where I am today, I am right here where my heart meets my path into the future. I don’t really care to label so much, plan every detail, or live so far from the day I am in. I cherish the little things more, and the time we share that only we know about. I spent so much time in the future that I truly fail to remember much of the last 10 year other than the big things like vacations; even those are foggy in my mind.

“Things turn out best for the people
who make the best of the way things turn out”.
– Art Linkletter

Yes I do post quite often on many forms of social media however it’s from a different place in my heart. I am proud of my life and my accomplishments but only proud for what I have done not how it appears. I’m proud in my heart not from my mind and smile. I’m ashamed of the pride that has driven so much of my life, and yes I have more areas to shine a light into.

Admitting and shining a light on my pride only humbles my life further. I really wish I could take some things in life back, all I can do today is not repeat the past and live fully in the day.

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My First Progress Picture 


A little nervous to post my progress pics but I really want to be real and transparent with my new healthy lifestyle. 

I hope this motivates others to find the answers to the millions of questions regarding health and fitness.

Just a few tips:

  • PLEASE do your research.
  • Find what works for you and be open with people that care and are willing to help with being accountable if you lack motivation.
  • Ask questions, watch YouTube videos, read articles and don’t let anything stop you. 

2 things I do and have researched. I can also give most of my credit to these as well. The 2 things I do are Intermittent Fasting and the Ketogenic lifestyle.

Today is All The Proof I Need 


This post is a little different than most of the other posts, this is both an emotional and physical post. I usually try to keep my relationship life and fitness life separate, but the more I try the harder it is. 

I had a great night last night on vacation with all the girls. It was full of adventure after adventure, sun, laughter and smiles. One stop after another and never lacking excitement. We were attacked by a turtle, took the long way many times, we were followed by a family of baby ducks and found a very nice Nikon waterproof camera (yes we kept it, don’t judge).

We got lost once or twice, fought over dinner and could not come to a mutual dinner idea, to top it off we even had a little accident at the end of the night with the garage door but in all our trip was a total success and I loved every minute we shared together and love to see what the future continually brings. 

This morning my heart is full and I feel my heart has met it’s match. I truly can’t in words explain the dynamic of what the 6 of us have. With all that said, here’s how my amazing night feels at the moment. 

Today I have one of the worst hangovers I have ever had. My head is killing me and I feel sick to my stomach. I am struggling to even drink water Let alone think, but here I am walking and writing.

At this point I bet you are thinking “what a looser for getting drunk on vacation with his children”. Here is my point, I didn’t have one drink at all. Not one sip of alcohol, but I did completely let go of my diet and the war on sugar for one day. 

Not only did I eat an average meal of carbs I had ice cream. I had a burger (with bun) fries and normal snacks throughout the day. A typical “American diet” and daily foods. The hangover I feel today is proof sugar is as poisonous as Alcohol. 

So as much as my heart is full of love for all the girls in my life my body hates me today for what I did yesterday. I feel off, not in keto at all and can see how easy it would be to let go of my diet and have that “hair of the dog” and let carbs take my bad feelings away. 

Life is such a strange journey full of so many overlapping dynamics, emotion, health, fitness and love are all equally as important as the other. If you allow any of them to be unbalanced the others may suffer; Yin and yang, ebb and flow.

My desire in life is to balance all areas of my life and overcome the natural temptation to focus on the easy things and let the hard tasks go. 

Take Time to Feel The Sun and Smell The Air


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Does driving by a sun covered cornfield make you smile a little inside; does the smell of someone mowing the lawn bring joy to your life? Or do you fail to even notice the corn or the fresh cut grass?

“If the sight of the blue skies fills you with joy,
if a blade of grass springing up in the fields has power to move you,
if the simple things in nature have a message you understand,
Rejoice, for your soul is alive”.
– Eleanora Duse

So much of life is a rush, a race to the next thing, to the next appointment, the next event for your children or are you chasing after something, money, a career, that new car or the new house. I have lost focus many times in my life and I always enjoy returning to peace. For me that is what spring and summer here in Michigan do for me, it shows me to appreciate the sun not curse it, to treasure the feeling of rain from time to time not complain for being wet, and to let the rumble of thunder calm me not create anxiety.

I feel its time again to slow down a little in life, take the back roads, set cruse and relax a little while driving and resist the temptation to race from one thing to the next. Life is much more enjoyable when you take time to notice the beauty around.

It’s amazing what you can feel when you take time to look and slow down enough to smell the air.

 “Those who find beauty in all of nature will find themselves at one with the secrets of life itself”. – L. Wolfe Gilbert

I know my natural tendency is to drift back and forth from relaxing and enjoying the calm times to rushing from one meeting to the next, from enjoying cooking and eating to insisting we hurry and eat dinner to get the next thing.

Part of me is screaming “I have to plan, I need to make sure everything has been covered” and the other part is calmly whispering “enjoy your time and your little girls”. One day they will be busy and struggling to balance the time in their lives and may not have the time to spend with us like they do now.

That is one of my biggest fears in life; that one day my girls will have to schedule time with me. What if one day I’m not high enough on their list of priorities to see as much as I would like? To me that is the reason its so important to build a deep and loving relationship with my children while they are young and not rush to get them independent. I’m seeing that time will come soon enough without any help.

Tomorrow we are planning to take the girls on a trip to upper Michigan and spend some time together in nature. I am so excited to see such a truly beautiful place with the girls, and its always nice to get away from the big city life once in a while. It is a favorite place of mine, and if you have never been to Northern Michigan I highly recommend seeing it once in your life. It is a place like no other and has the ability to move me emotionally.

Its times we spend together like these that cannot be replaced and will create the depth of our relationships.

The Question That Keeps Coming Up


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Wow, our first year flew by like a breeze, the second was just as fast. I’m sorry everyone, no big plans to announce other than we are cherishing our times together and letting the future come naturally. Its hard to express the power of falling in love with your best friend other than to say it is definitely the right way to love.

I’m so full of gratitude, appreciation and a gentle love for how the last two years have gone. This year reality set in and a deeper level of respect and appreciation for what I have found, how have I found such a perfect soul.

“You can not find happiness by chasing after it. Happiness comes from doing what you love to do, and from being who you truly are”. – Jonathan Lockwood Huie

I wasn’t looking for happiness in someone else, I wasn’t trying to find something that was missing or repairing a broken part of my life. I found happiness in myself and a best friend along the way. Falling in love just came natural to us, apparently others noticed our relationship too. Today there is a running joke that seems to pop up every time we take a trip, go on vacation or even a day trip to somewhere beautiful “will this be the time he asks the question“?

The only answer to that is, absolutely she is perfect, worthy of everything, her soul matches mine and she is a great balance to my life; I can’t plan the future, we can’t plan the future so for today we are choosing to love one another without a label, without reservation or expectations, taking things as they come and naturally let things flow together.

“One has to find a balance between what people need from you and what you need for yourself”. – Jessye Norman

So the suspense for that moment continues, who knows maybe one day the announcement will be public. For today, I’m not looking for a storybook romance or a burning passion, I’m looking for something natural, for the right reasons and that speaks to my heart not what everyone else thinks should be.

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I love you Jennifer, happy two year anniversary.

I’m Black and White, 100 or 0, an All or Nothing Guy


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“Fear is the cheapest room in the house. I would like to see you living in better conditions”.- Hafiz

Who are you and what the life you live say about who you are?  More importantly, who do you want to be? As I grow older I’m learning to let go of how I think others think of me and focus a little more on who I am to the people in my life. One thing I am really trying to focus on is the “all or nothing” outlook in my life and the black or white thinking.

I really don’t have many “close” friends and I hold a select few family members dear to my heart, all the others I tend to neglect.  Over the last few years I have really let go of trying to please others, unfortunately with my all or nothing trait and my black or white thinking I let relationships fall apart and focus more on the ones close to me. To be honest I see pros and cons to this and I also know that if I want something different for my life I need to do something different. I guess it’s all reinforced by the fact that I really don’t like help, I like to do things for myself and sometimes feel I don’t need anything or anyone.
“When I let go of what I am, I become what I might be”. – Lao Tzu

Life is not this or that, nothing is for certain, it’s not black or white, and nothing lasts forever. Sometimes we have to step out of what we think we know and try to live with what we do not understand.

I do not understand how I got here, where my life took all the turns, when I became so focused and almost selfish with myself. I know I do not like some of the things I have going on in my life but I have a few that are more amazing than anything I have ever had. I’m learning to give in to the idea that life will be what it is. There is a direction I am heading, I need to open up some areas that I swore I would never open again and see that whatever future I end up with was because of the actions I took. The outcome of our futures are no one’s fault but our own.

“Follow what you are genuinely passionate about and let that guide you to your destination”. – Diane Sawyer

She Will Never Know 


When she is with me all I want of for her to understand I love her more than words can explain. While she sleeps I lay awake wishing it could be different for her. My life changed because of her.

To my daughter’s.. both of them

My heart breaks while trying to explain the road of life is hard; fully knowing how bad it can hurt and how deeply it can cut.

Being a father was never going to be a part time job, however life changes and the balance of discipline and “daddy chats” are now a conversation through email and over the phone when they return to mom’s.

I have grown to become selfish with my baby’s always being with me, until life happened. When they fall I respond with a little message and a phone call, its not daddys week hunny. Its not my time to be the one who you have to work through getting back up with. Yes I’m always here for them, but its not the same having separate lives.

Life is a game of cat and mouse, a hope for well placed words and emotion, it has to be at just the right time with the precise intensity. If any of them are off even a miniscule amount, the mark is missed.

Too soon, wrong intensity, missing emotion, waiting to talk, not waiting long enough. It has to be just right or anger will cloud the emotion and the effort falls to the floor.

I have learned the relationship with my daughters is ever changing, evolving, to make it more difficult add hormones, and one is like me and one is like her mother.

Today my heart hurts and all I want is to protect my baby from the pain that life can bring. Yet here I am walking and writing after a few hours on the phone with them.

How do you tell someone they are your world unless they understand what its like to be blessed with a child themselves. Its days like this that the balance act is exhausting.

My girls, this is only another small bump in the long road of life.

Are You Living Too Small


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“Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one’s courage”.- Anais Nin

Your life will travel in the direction you are looking; the goals and dreams you visualize will guide the steps you take. So why don’t we have the Lamborghini our driveway? Why are we struggling with our health? Why is it that nothing seems to be working out?

Well partly because you haven’t aligned the other areas in your life to reach the goals you set. Your employment may not provide the financial stability to afford such an expensive dream car. Yet you remain in the job due to fear of leaving your comfort zone and looking for a better one. You think about going to the gym and eating healthy but fail to follow through. When nothing seems to be working out, maybe you are focusing on the problems too much and less on the silver lining or what IS working.

“If the desire to reach your dreams is big enough to inspire the courage to change the situation you are facing, your dreams will become possible”. – Scott Jenkins


I personally do not want a Lamborghini, I want a healthy lifestyle, a long happy life with my daughters and as life evolves into the empty-nest stage, a little house on a lake with the woman I love.

Yes there have been some huge roadblocks in my financial stability that will not allow this dream to become reality, at the moment.  However that has not changed the dream, it has not stopped what I want in my heart. My dream has not wavered one bit through divorce, financial destruction and many losses of loved ones. My dream and the vision for my future is much bigger than the external events that life has and will continue to bring.

Did I plan for this?

Absolutely not, I never planned on being in the situation I’m in at the moment, however it hasn’t changed what my heart desires. In fact, do to some of  the changes in my life it has allowed my life to align with my dreams a little better than it may have in the past.

“Believe in yourself; dream big dreams, set important goals, take action on those goals”. – Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Think bigger picture, stop focusing on right now all the time, stop looking back at what you don’t have and set your heart on what you desire. Daydream, drift off  in your mind into driving that Lamborghini, imagine how great it will be to walk out your door and smell the water as the sun rises on the lake. Visualize your dreams, smell it, hear it and feel it in your heat.

I am not where I want to be today, maybe not tomorrow but I will be one day. Believe in the power of the mind and spirit of the heart and your dreams will come true. In my opinion most importantly surround yourself with positive people and those who are also motivated to become more.