The Question That Keeps Coming Up


Wow, our first year flew by like a breeze, the second was just as fast. I’m sorry everyone, no big plans to announce other than we are cherishing our times together and letting the future come naturally. Its hard to express the power of falling in love with your best friend other than to say it is definitely the right way to love.

I’m so full of gratitude, appreciation and a gentle love for how the last two years have gone. This year reality set in and a deeper level of respect and appreciation for what I have found, how have I found such a perfect soul.

“You can not find happiness by chasing after it. Happiness comes from doing what you love to do, and from being who you truly are”. – Jonathan Lockwood Huie

I wasn’t looking for happiness in someone else, I wasn’t trying to find something that was missing or repairing a broken part of my life. I found happiness in myself and a best friend along the way. Falling in love just came natural to us, apparently others noticed our relationship too. Today there is a running joke that seems to pop up every time we take a trip, go on vacation or even a day trip to somewhere beautiful “will this be the time he asks the question“?

The only answer to that is, absolutely she is perfect, worthy of everything, her soul matches mine and she is a great balance to my life; I can’t plan the future, we can’t plan the future so for today we are choosing to love one another without a label, without reservation or expectations, taking things as they come and naturally let things flow together.

“One has to find a balance between what people need from you and what you need for yourself”. – Jessye Norman

So the suspense for that moment continues, who knows maybe one day the announcement will be public. For today, I’m not looking for a storybook romance or a burning passion, I’m looking for something natural, for the right reasons and that speaks to my heart not what everyone else thinks should be.


I love you Jennifer, happy two year anniversary.

How I Feel on The Inside is Reflected Outward


The War on Sugar has taken a much more personal attack in my life and the more I study the short and long-term affects of sugar consumption is clearly proving that America is out of control. it can be linked to Obesity, Heart Disease, Diabetes, and Cancer. It is truly not as harmless as we wish it was.  Fully knowing the addictive properties of sugar the food industry is becoming great at hiding it in tons of other names. Due to some recent changes in my family it is being mostly removed from our homes.

Fitness and a healthy lifestyle has always been a priority in my life and as I get older it only reinforces my desire to live better. We only get one body, one shot at living and one of my biggest fears is to be bed ridden or not mobile enough to get around and enjoy the outdoors. I want to live for as long as I can, not in fear of death but fear of not living.

“Happiness lies in the joy of achievement and the thrill of creative effort”. – Franklin D. Roosevelt

Joy is a choice of perspective and having something to look forward to is very important. Setting up small goals to achieve has fueled my determination to reach for more. Not out of discontentment or never being satisfied; out of the desire to continually reach areas that were unobtainable a month ago, or a year ago.

I love this quote; I have been called so many things in my life regarding fitness, from crazy, narcissistic, obsessed to letting it consume my life.

“Excellence is the result of caring more than others think is wise,
risking more than others think is safe,
dreaming more than others think is practical,
and expecting more than others think is possible”.
– Anonymous

Well, here I am gathering my goals like gemstones on the beach while others sit and watch goal after goal sink away out of sight. So who is the crazy one?

Where am I today?

I am still doing intermittent fasting and have drifted into a more consistent 18/6 (fasting/eating) and also fell in love with the Ketogenic lifestyle. It fits how I like to eat and I have adapted well to it. I am holding at 180 lbs. (81 kg.) and feeling great, I am also losing body fat consistently. I haven’t posted any updated pictures of my progress in a while and thanks to another blogger that I follow (gingerkaratekid) here are a couple of updates.










I am getting more and more comfortable with my body and to me that is important. I do not like the feeling of being shirtless at the beach out of self-consciousness about my belly fat and how I let myself go.

In my mind the outward body is a representation of how we feel inside, when I’m depressed I show it on the outside by shrinking, and not standing tall, and that is only the beginning. It ripples into my eating habits and my fitness becomes non-existent.

How I feel on the inside is directly linked to how I look, and today I feel amazing on the inside and really desire spreading this to the people around me and my loved ones.

I am choosing to take action now, and offering anyone that would like help to just ask. I’m not going to force my lifestyle more than my blog posts, it is a choice you must make in your life.

If you’re not prepared to be successful you’re allowing yourself room to fail

Well, the test results are in. 

About 2 weeks ago I started a test to see how my body responds to things like carbs, fats and sugar (also carbs). 

4 weeks ago I began to lower my carb intake to about 30g a day, into what’s called a ketogenic diet (moderate Protien, high fats and very low carbs)

My body loved it!!

I had more energy, less lethargic morning feeling (even without coffee) most importantly it is how I like to eat. 

At the end of 3 weeks I hit a Plateau with my weight loss so I did a little more research to see what others did in that situation.

A 48 hour water fast was recommended so from 8pm Sunday until 8pm on Tuesday I water fasted. (Nothing but water, coffee and tea for 48 hours)

The results were amazing

I dropped water weight and belly fat very quickly and reached the 170s. 

I also felt amazing, with one exception; my body needed food. Everything I have read said “most importantly, listen to your body“. 

Mentality, I could have went another 24 hours, but my muscles were hungry. 

The last 3 days I have went back to a healthy diet (without monitoring my carb intake whatsoever) and I’m back up to 186 lbs (83 kg) so I’m shocking my body with a quick 24 hour fast and incorporating the ketogenic diet back into my life. 

So far I have learned that I eat too many carbs for the amount of activity I do. 

A proud moment yesterday 

Yesterday Jen and I spent the day in South Haven and for the first time in quite a few years I didn’t feel insecure with my shirt off. To me that is one of the reasons I want to continue this journey with fitness. Sure call it vanity, but are you secure in your skin and in a bathing suit? 

If not, you are the only one that can change that. 

As for me, I want a long healthy life. No nothing I do will guarantee I won’t end up with cancer or any of the other life threatening diseases out there. However if and when I do, I want the strength and mental ability to fight like I have been fighting for my fitness.

I’m Black and White, 100 or 0, an All or Nothing Guy


“Fear is the cheapest room in the house. I would like to see you living in better conditions”.- Hafiz

Who are you and what the life you live say about who you are?  More importantly, who do you want to be? As I grow older I’m learning to let go of how I think others think of me and focus a little more on who I am to the people in my life. One thing I am really trying to focus on is the “all or nothing” outlook in my life and the black or white thinking.

I really don’t have many “close” friends and I hold a select few family members dear to my heart, all the others I tend to neglect.  Over the last few years I have really let go of trying to please others, unfortunately with my all or nothing trait and my black or white thinking I let relationships fall apart and focus more on the ones close to me. To be honest I see pros and cons to this and I also know that if I want something different for my life I need to do something different. I guess it’s all reinforced by the fact that I really don’t like help, I like to do things for myself and sometimes feel I don’t need anything or anyone.
“When I let go of what I am, I become what I might be”. – Lao Tzu

Life is not this or that, nothing is for certain, it’s not black or white, and nothing lasts forever. Sometimes we have to step out of what we think we know and try to live with what we do not understand.

I do not understand how I got here, where my life took all the turns, when I became so focused and almost selfish with myself. I know I do not like some of the things I have going on in my life but I have a few that are more amazing than anything I have ever had. I’m learning to give in to the idea that life will be what it is. There is a direction I am heading, I need to open up some areas that I swore I would never open again and see that whatever future I end up with was because of the actions I took. The outcome of our futures are no one’s fault but our own.

“Follow what you are genuinely passionate about and let that guide you to your destination”. – Diane Sawyer

She Will Never Know 

When she is with me all I want of for her to understand I love her more than words can explain. While she sleeps I lay awake wishing it could be different for her. My life changed because of her.

To my daughter’s.. both of them

My heart breaks while trying to explain the road of life is hard; fully knowing how bad it can hurt and how deeply it can cut.

Being a father was never going to be a part time job, however life changes and the balance of discipline and “daddy chats” are now a conversation through email and over the phone when they return to mom’s.

I have grown to become selfish with my baby’s always being with me, until life happened. When they fall I respond with a little message and a phone call, its not daddys week hunny. Its not my time to be the one who you have to work through getting back up with. Yes I’m always here for them, but its not the same having separate lives.

Life is a game of cat and mouse, a hope for well placed words and emotion, it has to be at just the right time with the precise intensity. If any of them are off even a miniscule amount, the mark is missed.

Too soon, wrong intensity, missing emotion, waiting to talk, not waiting long enough. It has to be just right or anger will cloud the emotion and the effort falls to the floor.

I have learned the relationship with my daughters is ever changing, evolving, to make it more difficult add hormones, and one is like me and one is like her mother.

Today my heart hurts and all I want is to protect my baby from the pain that life can bring. Yet here I am walking and writing after a few hours on the phone with them.

How do you tell someone they are your world unless they understand what its like to be blessed with a child themselves. Its days like this that the balance act is exhausting.

My girls, this is only another small bump in the long road of life.

Build Others Up With Words Of Encouragement


I really wanted to pour my heart into this and let my readers know a few things about me. I am sure I’m not alone in some of the feelings in this and hope you will understand.

I want you to understand something; calling a skinny person skinny is just as bad as calling a fat person fat!

No I am not fat, technically I am overweight (its true) and due to my height and that I flex and suck it in if I am around people I look more “in shape” than I am. Yes, you read that right; I hold my abs and chest tight if I am around people. All day if need be! I have done it for so long I don’t even think about it. One good outcome is I have a great six-Pac under a little fat just waiting to be seen and my core is very strong.

Why would you do that Scott” Well, it’s because I am not fully happy with my belly fat and my current look. I am what you can call skinny fat. (That is a real thing as well)

Telling someone “you need to eat” when they are a skinny person is the exact same thing as saying you “you can skip a meal” to an overweight person. So it’s just best to not say anything and just learn to support people in the goals they have.

Sting bean, skinny red, you need to eat a cheeseburger, doesn’t your mom feed you, I better put a brick on your head so you gain some weight. These were just a few of the things I heard growing up and I HATED it. To this day I do not like my skinny legs and arms.

Yes this is kind of a rant, but it’s frustrating to do hundreds of hours of research and years of trial and error to modify my goals to have someone that has not researched give me advice or call me crazy for trying to do something about a part of my life the (I) am not happy with.

Please, PLEASE do your own research.

I really want to inspire other and show them that if you are unhappy with a part of your life that you are only a couple of steps away from changing it; all you have to do is start and want to change.

This is my journey and your words can inspire or discourage, they can motivate or destroy all motivation. I am not looking for a health coach; I’m learning how I learn best, by trial and error, failure and success and research. I have never been one to follow the crowd or just to take your word for it; I want to see for myself, i desire to understand why. Yes I was that kid, “but why” was and is one of my favorite questions.

For all that support me thank you SO much and for those who have an opinion (especially if you do not work out and diet) please just support myself and others with words of inspiration and motivation.

We are all on our own journey; learn to embrace the differences we have and accept that we all have something about our lives that we do not like.

Are You Losing Your Mind Trying To Become Healthy


Sometimes I feel like I’m losing my mind trying to get healthy; is it really that hard? I now know why people give up and drift back into eating whatever they want and why gym memberships come and go like night and day.

  • How much protein should I eat, how many carbs should I eat?
  • Should I eat carbs at all?
  • Should I lift high reps low weight or low reps high weight?
  • Can I work out too often?
  • What do I do and where do I start?

I can sum all the questions regarding fitness and health with one short answer. Everyone is different and what your goals are can change what you need.

Like many people searching for the “truth” about fitness and a healthy lifestyle the internet can become mind numbing and even frustrating at times while trying to filter through the endless fitness and health related topics.

I have been consistently focusing, reading articles and watching hundreds of hours of videos on YouTube trying to narrow down the truth about fitness and the only thing I have found that is 100% accurate is that we are ALL very different.

sure there are some things that are consistent for human beings in general, but most changes with the individual.

I respond very well to Intermittent Fasting, I respond terrible to the ketogenic diet, no matter how much I work on my legs they remain smaller than my upper body in proportion to the rest of my body. Genetics plays a large part in how our body will respond to health and fitness and we all have trouble areas as well as areas that develop better than others.


Yes there is a way to overcome all the obstacles and have the desired outcome no matter the shortfalls you may have. It all starts with discipline and consistency. I will never be as big as Arnold Schwarzenegger; however I have a unique physique the I am learning to embrace. my positive areas are larger Lats, Traps and I accept that my legs look like a never train them.

Here are a few steps I have learned over the last few years that may help you narrow down the searching and time on the web.

  • Know what you want – Do you want to look like a runner or bodybuilder, do you want to look good or be strong.
  • set a goal that appeals to your desires  
  • Look at your family and any other blood relative to see the traits that they have (good or bad) . This will give you a head start with pinpointing the “trouble areas” you may have. Look at their lifestyle and see how they respond.
  • Research and understand how your body works and responds to everything. how do you respond to your diet, cardiovascular workouts, lifting programs, etc.
  • Be realistic with your progress and know that it’s taken you a long time to get to where you are today, changing that will not happen overnight.

It has taken me 34 years to learn I was overweight and unhealthy. I’m a little over 2 years being serious with my fitness journey and I am very far from being where I want to be. With that said I am very excited to see the progress I have gained and want to share that.

During my adult life (20 years old – current) my highest weight has been 248 lbs. (113 kg) and my lowest 167 lbs. (76 kg) and I have felt the complete gamut of conditions, from complete crap to incredible and full of energy. Find what works for you, learn what your body responds to, seek the truth about your specific goals and most importantly have fun with it.

Are You Living Too Small


“Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one’s courage”.- Anais Nin

Your life will travel in the direction you are looking; the goals and dreams you visualize will guide the steps you take. So why don’t we have the Lamborghini our driveway? Why are we struggling with our health? Why is it that nothing seems to be working out?

Well partly because you haven’t aligned the other areas in your life to reach the goals you set. Your employment may not provide the financial stability to afford such an expensive dream car. Yet you remain in the job due to fear of leaving your comfort zone and looking for a better one. You think about going to the gym and eating healthy but fail to follow through. When nothing seems to be working out, maybe you are focusing on the problems too much and less on the silver lining or what IS working.

“If the desire to reach your dreams is big enough to inspire the courage to change the situation you are facing, your dreams will become possible”. – Scott Jenkins

I personally do not want a Lamborghini, I want a healthy lifestyle, a long happy life with my daughters and as life evolves into the empty-nest stage, a little house on a lake with the woman I love.

Yes there have been some huge roadblocks in my financial stability that will not allow this dream to become reality, at the moment.  However that has not changed the dream, it has not stopped what I want in my heart. My dream has not wavered one bit through divorce, financial destruction and many losses of loved ones. My dream and the vision for my future is much bigger than the external events that life has and will continue to bring.

Did I plan for this?

Absolutely not, I never planned on being in the situation I’m in at the moment, however it hasn’t changed what my heart desires. In fact, do to some of  the changes in my life it has allowed my life to align with my dreams a little better than it may have in the past.

“Believe in yourself; dream big dreams, set important goals, take action on those goals”. – Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Think bigger picture, stop focusing on right now all the time, stop looking back at what you don’t have and set your heart on what you desire. Daydream, drift off  in your mind into driving that Lamborghini, imagine how great it will be to walk out your door and smell the water as the sun rises on the lake. Visualize your dreams, smell it, hear it and feel it in your heat.

I am not where I want to be today, maybe not tomorrow but I will be one day. Believe in the power of the mind and spirit of the heart and your dreams will come true. In my opinion most importantly surround yourself with positive people and those who are also motivated to become more.

Never Let Yourself Down

I found something interesting, well to be honest I’m not sure its a real thing. I have found that I need much less sleep while doing Intermittent Fasting. I was averaging between 6-7 hours a night and now I hit 5 pretty consistently and actually feel quite refreshed and I have more energy with less caffeine.

Here’s a good example, I was up about 8am Sunday morning and hit the gym pretty hard. Up all day and worked 3rd shift last night getting out about 5am this morning. Went to sleep about 5:45am and was up at 9am feeling great.

I’m not sure why, if this is actually a real byproduct of the (IF) or just coincidence.

I have also modified my diet to more of a full Keto diet, attempting to cut my body fat % more. My unofficial goal is 10% body fat.

Being that I completely hate cardio the only way I can see a cut is to restrict carbs and its day 3 lowering my carb intake. I’m not cutting it cold turkey so to speak.

I am monitoring how many grams I had in my normal diet and cutting that in half daily until I reach about 40 grams a day. At this rate I should reach that by Wednesday, today is Monday.

I know some people say “my God, why do you keep changing everything“?

My answer is simple, without change you stay the same, I don’t want to stay the same.. I want to gradually become the best version of myself that I can be.

Yes I can be a bit manic about it, I just know what I need to motivate myself and what I need to stay away from failing and if I want to continue to be discipline with my fitness this is what I need.

Here are a few guidelines I like to use.

  • Being honest with yourself is in my opinion the most important person you can hold accountable. I have a motto I tell myself, “if I can’t be honest and have integrity with myself I will for sure not have either with another person“, and to me both are very important to have.
  • If I set a goal in my mind, I will reach it. That should be your focus. Forget letting others down, there is a 100% chance of that, do not let yourself down.
  • Set a goal that YOU want and do everything in your power while respecting other and maintaining honesty and integrity to reach your goal.

If you continually let yourself down eventually you will have a feeling of worthlessness. Trust me, I have felt this and it can overcome and snuff out any chance of happiness in your life.

An update and Further Separation of Real Life and The War on Sugar


Hey there again, this is just a little update and maybe a little further separation between the two blogs I have been writing.

As you know I began Real Life about 4 years ago and December of 2016 branched some of my posts into a fitness and lifestyle focused blog named The War on Sugar.

Mostly the War on Sugar was a way for me to focus my fitness and discuss life topics regarding the fitness lifestyle and have a more of the emotional well-being topic on the main Real Life page.

Both are equally important to me in my life and I have been getting questions regarding fitness that at times get lost in the emails from the main Real Life blog so in hopes to help both I have created a new email for the War on Sugar topics. Thank you for the support and I would love to continue my support by sharing my journey both emotionally and physically.

For questions regarding fitness refer to