When Someone Hurts, Let Them Hurt

Learn to listen for the drop of the feather, don’t wait for the noise of the bomb; be quiet, be involved, learn to listen more and act less. I’m learning that I can’t listen and talk at the same time, and those who know me also know I like to talk.

In life there are times that take our breath away, equally good and bad. Most of us have seen our share of both, I’m sure you would agree. The changes in life that were the most impact in a positive way were the ones I learned to get through on my own and with my own willpower and determination. Whether it is my faith, the friends and family I surround myself with, and yes even the gym.

Who is it that you run to, what is it you turn to and why? Is it drugs, alcohol, sex, is it healthy or is it to fill a void. I have had my share of all of them and now I make healthy life choices. Its the gym, not the bar, its those who will tell me the hard things not what I want to hear. Now its because they have there life together and are in a place of security and safety. However, no matter who I run to, it ultimately was the decisions I made to overcome the situation and how I made the choice to get back up and thrive in life again.

So when they hurt, let them hurt, let their tears flow. I’m not saying do not be there for someone when they hurt, what I’m saying is hug them, comfort them, but let them hurt.

Realize we cannot fix anyone but ourselves, so instead of trying to fix it for them be the light in their life, be the positive influence, the constant rock, be the safe ear, the shoulder to cry on; But let them hurt.

It’s when we step out and try to fix someone else that our energy shifts, and expectations will most likely be missed causing the opportunity for both to feel damage. I have spent so much time in my life trying to fix other people that at times I forget to even look at myself.  I can be far more effective in others’ lives if I give the energy I would have put in their life to work in my own and to allow them to feel I am safe, a rock and security.

When the storm comes in the life of someone I love I can be the rock they lean on for comfort allowing them to catch their breath, focus on their faith, the process they choose and the healing they need.

Be the rock in someone’s life, be the soft heart, the shoulder to cry on, be the constant safety but let them hurt.