Limitless Life, Allow Life to Expand and Contract


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Life isn’t perfect, and it never will be; that is a fact. There are things in life that seem perfect, but deep down in the details of everything you will find a flaw, something wrong or an unmet expectation. However do not let that stop you from trying. Wanting something gets you nowhere, and having an expectation of reaching something by simply wanting it is the quickest way to feel stuck in life.

“If you want something to be different than it is, you might as well teach a cat to bark. Wanting something to be different than it is, is hopeless”. – Byron Katie

I can list thousands of things I “want” but it’s what I’m willing to “do” that I can reach.

I want my girls to have a better life than I did, so I give as much as I can in hope to guide them in that direction. In reality, its not up to me and I can only do so much, once I let go of the bike, it’s up to them to begin to peddle and balance. Expecting them to live perfect lives is unrealistic.

I want to learn how to love better, so I learn how I can love myself better and reflect that outward in turn attracting what I wish in my life. However, I cannot make someone love me, so expecting that will only lead to heartache.

Control what you can, learn from mistakes and never be afraid to start over, try again, say “I’m sorry”, and be vulnerable. Our world expands and contracts to the boundaries we set in our minds. Live limitless, try new things, forget expectations, and learn to embrace failure as part of life.

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When Someone Hurts, Let Them Hurt


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Learn to listen for the drop of the feather, don’t wait for the noise of the bomb; be quiet, be involved, learn to listen more and act less. I’m learning that I can’t listen and talk at the same time, and those who know me also know I like to talk.

In life there are times that take our breath away, equally good and bad. Most of us have seen our share of both, I’m sure you would agree. The changes in life that were the most impact in a positive way were the ones I learned to get through on my own and with my own willpower and determination. Whether it is my faith, the friends and family I surround myself with, and yes even the gym.

Who is it that you run to, what is it you turn to and why? Is it drugs, alcohol, sex, is it healthy or is it to fill a void. I have had my share of all of them and now I make healthy life choices. Its the gym, not the bar, its those who will tell me the hard things not what I want to hear. Now its because they have there life together and are in a place of security and safety. However, no matter who I run to, it ultimately was the decisions I made to overcome the situation and how I made the choice to get back up and thrive in life again.

So when they hurt, let them hurt, let their tears flow. I’m not saying do not be there for someone when they hurt, what I’m saying is hug them, comfort them, but let them hurt.

Realize we cannot fix anyone but ourselves, so instead of trying to fix it for them be the light in their life, be the positive influence, the constant rock, be the safe ear, the shoulder to cry on; But let them hurt.

It’s when we step out and try to fix someone else that our energy shifts, and expectations will most likely be missed causing the opportunity for both to feel damage. I have spent so much time in my life trying to fix other people that at times I forget to even look at myself.  I can be far more effective in others’ lives if I give the energy I would have put in their life to work in my own and to allow them to feel I am safe, a rock and security.

When the storm comes in the life of someone I love I can be the rock they lean on for comfort allowing them to catch their breath, focus on their faith, the process they choose and the healing they need.

Be the rock in someone’s life, be the soft heart, the shoulder to cry on, be the constant safety but let them hurt.

The Lies We Eat


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With spring creeping right around the corner I have had many conversations with family and friends about dieting. Some think I’m crazy, some say I’m obsessed; maybe I’m a little of both. However what’s more crazy to me is the lack of basic knowledge about what we eat and how it is processed in our body. To me that is crazy

A diet, what is a diet? I truly dislike the word first of all, and all the word means is “what we eat” we literally all are on a diet or we would die. So I have learned to call it a WOE (way of eating). This is a term used in the Keto world and it makes perfect sense.

There are tons of WOE in the world today and I swear I have done them all. The best advice I can give is if you are looking to become healthy is to break it down to the basics.

Don’t jump on a “dieting bandwagon” because someone else is doing something, or because your doctor tells you to diet. I WOULD recommend talking with your healthcare provider, but learn for yourself what your body needs.

We are all totally different and for me to tell anyone what and how to eat is the lie the food industry has taken full advantage of. They don’t push processed sugar filled foods because they are healthy for us, they push them to line their pockets due to our addiction to sugars and carbs.

Fact: Sugar reacts the same as Cocaine in the brain and the “high” creates a craving that has us seeking higher levels of sugar and carbohydrate foods to maintain a steady “happy” feeling.

I can sit down and look at a few things that will help guide me to help you look in the right direction, and for you specifically. Be cautious if anyone gives you a print out, book, sheet of paper or anything without asking you questions about your activity level, goals, eating habits and a little family background.

What is good for me is specific to me, my body type, eating habits and lifestyle. Now that doesn’t mean what I am doing will not work for you, it simply means the specific details may be different.

  • Please research and learn about the foods you put in your body.
  • Whats the difference between Carbs, Fats and Proteins are.
  • Set reasonable goals that are specific to you, not what someone else is doing.
  • Don’t be afraid to talk about exercise, food and health in general.
  • Eating, sleeping and exercise should be a part of your life.
  • How does your body uses Carbohydrate, Fat and Protein.
  • How many calories are in each and how many should YOU have in a day/week. 

According to US and Global Obesity USA is 1st in Top 10 “Industrialized” Countriesfat.JPG

Healthy living should be something we teach our children and not frowned upon as something only the obsessed or the vain do.

Overcoming yesterday’s Perspective and Learning to Love Today’s Perspective.


Sometimes a step back is two steps forward. Today I had the opportunity and honor to film my 3rd training video of my career, and this being the first for Zoetis. Today really made me think about life and all my perspectives.

I have always had a dream of being a movie star and at this point in my life it’s just not feasible. At times that really shrinks what I think of myself and makes me ask myself, why am I living so small?

I could do so much more with my life, however who would Scott Jenkins be if I would have pursued acting more? Hundreds of questions flood my head when thinking “what if” and being something different in life. Would I have my girls, would I be married, would I have even married at all, would I even been successful enough to make a life out of acting.

I have no doubt that I could have done something in the world of acting, and today I feel like I’m enough, being content with my quiet little life.

No I’m not a movie star, but I’m one of the most important people in the lives of two beautiful girls, friend to many, loved by others and so much more. What would I have had to give up to peruse a career in acting? Maybe I did hit it big and I’m just thinking about it wrong. Perspective of what could be will always be there in the background of what I am today.

This morning during my morning chat with Jen it hit me, I have the best of both worlds.

I have done two other training videos that have been seen thousands of times for former Pharmacia, now Pfizer, regarding the L.O.T.O. (lock out tag out) training.

Today I added my third training video to the list for Zoetis. This Computer based training video will also be viewed by everyone that works for Zoetis Global today and plan to in the future.

Perspective; I am a star in my own way and can have my little life; the best of both worlds and way more fulfilling to my heart.

I really love little moments that ease the questions our heart asks and the chances we get to challenge our perspectives in life.

I have some many questions that need to be asked, and perspectives that I’m ready to challenge. I’m excited to see what 2018 brings, what questions are answered, and the perspectives I have the opportunity to change.

Today’s Perspective change: I’m not just the last choice in others lives, they choose me because I’m special. 

Are You Feeding The Victim Inside


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I want to tell you a story about setting expectations and the choices we have.

If your happiness depends on meeting expectations in life, your life can feel like it fails over and over.

Instead learn to adapt as life changes, lighten up and know that everything is going to be OK. Let go of the victim inside; stop feeding him (or her), they will never be satisfied and will always find something to blame.

I made plans early in the week to surprise my girls last night with a nice diner, shopping trip and night out of town. I set expectations in my mind for everything, and found myself becoming frustrated when my plans began to fall apart.

My girls had no idea I was even struggling, and I was faced with a choice. I could allow this to destroy my night and theirs, or I could adjust my expectations and have fun with them no matter what we did.

We drove about an hour to go shopping, only to find no deals at all. In fact, prices were actually higher than in our town; however the experience of getting away was priceless.  On the way to dinner we ran into a huge traffic jam that set us back over 30 minutes for diner, and dinner was fair at best, and we had a great time all night.

If I would have allowed myself to feed the victim inside, our night would have been totally different.  I made the choice to adjust with the environment and let go of my expectations all together. My girls had no idea what expectations I set for the night, they just enjoyed our time together and the experience of getting away.

How many things in life do we destroy by setting expectations for something and when they are not met, we make the choice to feed our victim?

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Maybe it’s time to hand in our victim card.

Where Did My Little Girls Go, and Who Are These Women


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The more I experience in life the more I see none of the time I spent worrying changed any of the circumstances or outcomes I have faced at all. I have found strength in the pain, loss and life changing events and facing the truth that I control nothing has released me from the choking grasp it had on my life.

One worry I fail to manage is the worry for my children; I wish I could shelter them from heartbreak, protect them from the dangers of violence and stand by their side to fight off the bullies. However what service would that do for the lessons and journey in life? Most of the lessons I have learned in life were forged through hardship, pain, and the best lessons are not taught by a book or hearing it from someone’s interpretation of what happened.

As a father of two daughters, the fear I have for them is relentless. I have seen what the world can do to little girls, I was a dumb boy once and now all I can do is shake my head when my daughters tells me stories of how their heartbreaks happen.  As I sit and listen, considering how to express my opinion and outlook the quiet voice in my heart says “just be there for her and let her feel this” but its nothing but a whisper in a room full of screaming “tell her all about how boys can be, call him, break his arm”.

So the battle to protect my girls continues as I sit and watch, knowing there really isn’t much I can or should do other than stand by, hug them, wipe the tears off their cheeks and show them that I am here for them always and that my love never takes a break.

When I look back on all these worries,
I remember the story of the old man who said on his deathbed
that he had had a lot of trouble in his life,
most of which had never happened.
– Winston Churchill

Adapting to them growing up is my struggle today. Where did my little girls go and when were they replaced by these young women? I wish I would have watched them grow more and focused less on my own life. I remember the first steps, the first dada, first teeth and the bedtime routines. Now that has all been replaced by college applications, boyfriends, friend drama and the waves of fluctuating emotions that strips the house of all joy for one week every month. When did my little girls grow up, and I wish so badly that I could see the little girls again just for a few hours.

We All Have These Moments; Sometimes We Let Them Change Us.


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I had a moment this morning that I haven’t had in a while; you know the moment, the “how did I get here” moment. However this time it’s not from a broken place as it has been in the past, it’s from a place of peace that I feel in my heart everything is going to be ok in life. When you are not consumed with worry and anxiety all the time it allows for other thoughts to enter.

Learning that we may never know all the answers to the questions in life has so much power in it, finding peace and believing that will give you the power to let go of so many things that we hold so close that will not feed our lives.

I have a tendency to worry; to worry about everything big or small and try to manage it all in my head. I feel like I have been asleep for so many years, driven by staying in my safe place of routine and what is familiar fueled by anxiety and believing the illusion that I was in control of any part of my life.

“Be thankful that life is a mystery.
There is so much we can never know.
Breathe deeply and relax into the not-knowing.
There is much that we do not have to know in order to live joyfully”.
– Jonathan Lockwood Huie

I have found that there are very few things that we can actually control, and I gave most of that power away to others by believing the words they say about me. You’re too tall, you have chicken legs, you are too goofy to be taken serious, a class clown, idiot, you are just a ginger, you will never amount to anything, and a failure.

I’m 37 years old now and I still think some of these are true even though I have proven all of them wrong.

I struggle to tell myself I’m not an idiot, I’m actually very smart, I don’t have chicken legs, I have long muscles and high insertion points, I have amounted to quite a bit, I’m not a failure, but I have messed up in life, yes I’m goofy and I can be serious.

What do you tell yourself? Do you still hold onto the things you were told as a child? If so, let it go and begin to live the life you have been dreaming of. You are the only one that has the power to hold your life back from the potential of what it could be.

Somethings we can’t change, some questions we will never have answers to. learning and understand that to be true and finding peace knowing that some things will never be answered has so much power in it. Control what we can control, let the rest go, love yourself and love others, build up our children to not become broken adults and spread kind words not hate. Dare to live bold and let go of what you think you can control

Sometimes we wish for something so bad, until we get it


We have all heard the saying “be careful what you wish for, you just might get it” a time or two in our lives I’m sure. The full extent of that has never been so sobering until now.

At the end of 2017 I wrote a blog that to this day I struggle to pinpoint if I’m glad I wrote it or if it was a curse that continues to haunt me into 2018. 

For most of my friends and family I’m known as a joker, fun guy and finding humor in almost everything. However, inside I really enjoy alone time, downtime and to just sitting in the dark alone with music and disconnecting from everything. That balance has been a struggle lately and impacting my life more than I would like it to. 

That all changed the day after I posted the story of my daughter and her brush with danger. I really don’t like to bring it up anymore, but due to needing context for this post I feel it’s necessary. 

I really haven’t felt the desire to write much since the post due to its overwhelmingly high amount of communication that followed the post. I literally cannot tell you how many messages, Facebook pages wanting to share or publish the post, news channels, radio stations, podcast, magazines and phone calls I have received to interviewed us. In fact I have a phone call scheduled with another magazine for tomorrow at noon…

It’s overwhelming, and a small part of me wants it to go away, and if it wasn’t for the feelings of comfort I have for how many homes it may have impacted I would probably start over with my WordPress. 

I really hope to feel the passion to write again, so for now maybe a break is needed. 

My girlfriend and I have a saying that we use all the time, and it’s always worked out. So I guess I’ll “play it by ear”, and time will tell what direction my writing and Real Life / War on Sugar blog will travel.

Maybe 2018 will be a year of reflection more than pressing forward, and focusing on trying to grow rather than seeking a crowd to walk with.

So this may be my last post for a while. Maybe it’s time I go inside and not try so hard to “express” so much of what I feel.

To my subscriber’s and followers don’t forget to love others on the roads we travel and some changes in life may feel scary at first but may just be the best things for me.

With all this said, I don’t want to leave on a down note. My life has reached new levels of passion in different areas and my relationships with my family have become so much deeper. Jen and I are doing great and everything in my life feels calm and peacful. 

Today is Tomorrow in Progress 


Have you ever sat back and pondered the good old days; you know back before life happened, back before bills, responsibility and the cycle of being an adult. 

I have missed out on many good times in life focusing on the good old days and comparing today to yesterday. What if today is seen as tomorrows good old day? Would you act differently today knowing that a year from now this day in time may just be one of “the good old days”.

Today is tomorrow in process and I constantly try to stay positive and tell myself maybe tomorrow will be better on days that don’t go as planned. What is this plan I strive to stick to anyways? All the expectations we set for how anything is “supposed” to go is a lie we tell ourselves to feel in control of something. In reality we are not in control of anything but our responses and integrity. 
Has anything in life really even gone as planned. I mean sure I have had days that were uneventful and days that I feel I could have lived without. But what if the hard days in our lives could be seen as just another step in the process of life. Would the power we give to the crappy days have as much power as we give them.

“There are all kinds of futures. There is a hoped-for future, there is a feared future, there is a predictable future, and there is an unimagined future”. – Werner Erhard

Today is Today, good or bad it’s a day in the life we have created by the responces we chose to make.

I have chosen every path I have taken and the outcome of that has been what has created who I am today. Learning to take responsibility for the roads I have chosen to travel has been one of the most freeing feelings I have ever felt.

Absolutely there are outside influences that are out of our control, and events that hit us like a ton of bricks but how we respond will determine who we are and what we believe.

Today just might be a good old day in the making, it’s our choice to see it however we want to see it. It can be a day in our lives that we look back and smile about or a day that we can choose to move past without making any kind of impact in anyone’s life. 

Learning to smile and love through pain has given me a power to overcome so many things in my life. The power to cry and smile is a power that nothing can destroy. 

How do I hold all the contrasting ambivalence?


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Over the last couple weeks I really haven’t had the desire to write, as much as I miss it and truly feel the need to write and vent I don’t fake well and really need to emotionally connect with what I’m writing. Here I am sitting in the dark, listening to music and writing.

“With courage you will dare to take risks,
have the strength to be compassionate,
and the wisdom to be humble.
Courage is the foundation of integrity”.
– Keshavan Nair

I have so many things on my mind, and all of them contrasting one another and at the farthest ends of the spectrum. My girlfriend’s family has been rocked with the loss of both grandfathers in one week, and both will be missed more than I can describe in words. They were both a couple of the good ones, and here we are to hold the pieces and memories that are left.

 
My heart hurts to see these great men pass, I wanted more time to get to know them, and I wanted to hear the stories they have to share.

 
Jens father was 100 years old; I can’t imagine what he has experienced in those 100 years. Her other father was taken far too young and so quickly by illness; I have only known him for a few short years but he has always treated me like family, being that I am her boyfriend and he was her ex-husbands father, that says everything about his views in life, he didn’t care who you were if you treated others with love you were family.

 
I’m overwhelmed with the last post I wrote as it continues to climb far past 1 million views. I fear for the safety of my girls, yet excited that her story has reached so many homes.

 
My heart hurts so badly for the struggle the mother of my girls is facing with Cancer and the fear I hear at times in our conversations. My work is mentally demanding and can at times be stressful in such a different way than what I’m used to; all that and I’m in love and want to start a new life with this amazing woman.

 
How do I navigate the new love and passion in my life and at the same time feel so much pain, hurt and struggle. Most of what I am feeling has nothing to do with me directly, however I feel it as if it were my father I lost, I am scared as if it was my body that is fighting Cancer, this struggle with the curse of empathy continues. To feel everything so deeply is both a blessing and a curse.