Nothing Hurts More Than Regret

Nothing hurts more than the regret for the years missed, the apologies that we never had time to accept, for the forgiveness we never had the courage to grant.

Regret for letting “I’m too busy” separate what we had. I waited too long and now they are gone and I’m left with the regrets of what could have been healing, forgiveness and the years missed.

I let my pride stand in the small crack that our relationships had. I allowed my busy life to become my excuse for not addressing anything.

I lost my stepfather this week… A man that didn’t have to love me, but made a choice to anyway even though I was not his child. I haven’t spoken to him in many years due to my own pride. Now he’s gone and all I can think of is how much I want to tell him “thank you” for everything.

As I’m looking through pictures to find the right one I see all the loved ones I have lost, and many I have so many things I wish I could say to them.

This is a reminder to screw pride, let go of the feelings of who is right or wrong; life is too short.

One day everyone you know and love will be gone and you will be standing here with thousands of unspoken words for a loved one that is no longer able to hear them.


We Are More Than What We See


What we all see when we meet one another is nothing more than a costume of skin, organs, bones, and blood.

Who we are is made up of a few things that cannot be seen by the eye, however, they can be seen in our actions, and those actions are controlled by our mind, heart, and spirit.

Our mind sets the goals of life, the dreams we have and projects the vision of our life to the other two influencers.

Our heart leads us through our relationships, controls our emotional health, and beliefs.

Our spirit is the fuel of all motivation and will determine when we give up and when we push harder towards what our mind sets as a desire in life.

We are more than what we see, and one thing is for certain. Our body will deteriorate as we get older, our organs can fail due to illness and abuse, our bones can break and blood can become contaminated with infection.

But the mind, heart, and spirit will begin and end per our willingness to feed them and allow them to grow.

Feed your mind, protect your heart, and release your spirit to be free. The only thing holding you back is the fear of the unknown.

What if we step out of our comfort zone? What if we quit our job that is no longer fulfilling? What if we walk away from that relationship? What if one day when we are older we look back and see all the regrets of things that were left undone, relationships that were left broken, or events that we are now incapable of doing due to the limitations of the body we gave so much power to.

Mental Monday, Learning to Decompress

Far too often we are quick to focus on the outside, our weight, our wrinkles, a tan, or our muscles. It seems vanity is more important than a lot of things that should be just
as high a priority.What about our mental wellbeing? When do we strengthen our minds, relax our nerves, decompress, get away and allow our mental wellbeing to recharge? Think of Mondays as Mental health Mondays, don’t fall into the trap of starting the week thinking “great, another Monday” think of it as a day to give yourself a break and ease into the week.

What about our mental wellbeing? When do we strengthen our minds, relax our nerves, decompress, get away and allow our mental wellbeing to recharge? Think of Mondays as Mental health Mondays, don’t fall into the trap of starting the week thinking “great, another Monday” think of it as a day to give yourself a break and ease into the week.

Suicide is real, it impacts nearly everyone you know. Was the pressure of life so bad that death seemed like a break. Was the torment of facing another day just not worth the
fight. We may never know why so many loved people commit suicide. Perhaps they couldn’t give themselves a break long enough to find relief.Starting today, Monday, October 29th I will be ending my Sober October focusing on my mind one day a week. Whether it’s a couple hour of nothing, reading a book, getting a massage, or the gym for an extra long time. Whatever recharges your mind, find time as often as possible to do it. Our mind is the foundation of our lives if we continually abuse it our lives will show it eventually.

Starting today, Monday, October 29th I will be ending my Sober October focusing on my mind one day a week. Whether it’s a couple hour of nothing, reading a book, getting a massage, or the gym for an extra long time. Whatever recharges your mind, find time as often as possible to do it. Our mind is the foundation of our lives if we continually abuse it our lives will show it eventually. Muscles do not grow while we are destroying them in the gym, they grow while we sleep. Rest is the secret of success.

Human Sex Trafficking does not take place like “in the movies”


My daughter and I met with Rachel Glaser from WWMT to talk about one of the most feared yet misunderstood topics we face today.

Human Sex Trafficking does not take place like “in the movies”. Children are not taken from their beds in the middle of the night… They are lured out of their homes after many weeks or months of flirting or promises of a better life and all through the safety of their bedrooms. In most cases, they think they are doing the right thing.

Searching for love, connection and fulfilling the desire to make grownup decisions. They run away, they meet a “friend” for a party or any of the less theatrical ways children come up missing. #reallife #scottleejenkins#humantrafficking

How do you show them

How do I show them I love them more than anything in the world when all they think is “he doesn’t even care“?

How do I show them, when the aggressive attitude complicates and dissolves most of the quality time we try to share.

How do I show them, when the words “I love you” fall short of touching their hearts like it did long ago.

How do I show them, when a hug fails to stir emotion.

How do I show the walking talking pieces of my heart that I never want to live without them in my life?

How do I show them, when it seems all they want is to get away.

Where did my happy little girls go, and who replaced them with these two little angry women.

Being a parent is by far one of the hardest things I have ever attempted, and this “learning as we go” thing is clearly over rated.

I know I fail more than I get it right, I know I mess up what I’m trying to say far more than I get the words right.

So how do I show them I care when they clearly have their minds made up I suck worse than anyone in the world.

You’re Not Tired, You’re Uninspired


This morning before my meeting I was having a very typical “get back into the gym talk” with a friend of mine. We were discussing how hard it can be to stick with the gym and in most cases anything that at one point you may have been on fire about.

For me it always becomes harder and harder to stick with my fitness and my goals when school starts back up and the cool temperatures begin to set in. Its much easier when you see people at the beach, feel the heat outside, and the sun on your face to be more health conscious.

He said “well, today is motivational Monday, and today’s motivational quote really inspired me to get back into the gym”.

“you’re not tired, you’re uninspired”… that it hit me, and he is exactly right.

All summer I see other men and compare myself to them and say to myself “see, that is a great physique” and it gives me a little motivation to get back into the gym. I watch more YouTube videos of healthy living, fitness and lifting when I feel inspired to reach my goals. When all the stress of life sets in I slowly drift from “My goals” to trying to manage everyone else life and after school activities. Eventually completely forgetting that healthy living, and fitness is just as important as eating and sleeping.

I hope this inspires you or at lease reminds you of what once was important is not any less important because other peoples lives are busy. Remember to keep your eyes on what you need to live a healthy life. Sleep, proper nutrition, and exercise is essential for healthy living. Find your inspiration again, whether its someone you know, someone on the internet, a movie star, or any of the thousands of people we see on TV. Let that spark your interest to become motivated again. Take a little time to look again, remember what you wanted when the fire was burning so intensely.

If you feel you “gave up”, don’t think of it as a failure, think of it as a break, and get back into it and start again.

Today is Monday, the beginning of a new week, a new day for you to say “it’s a good day to start again”, because you’re not tired, you’re uninspired.

In the words of Dwayne (The Rock) Johnson… “FOCUS”

Who Knew That Moving Could Be So Emotional

Tonight I’m mourning the loss of a piece of my past.

This is not an easy one to let go of like I thought it would be.

Tonight I say goodbye to my apartment. All joking aside. I’m taking a little time to remember the last 3 years and all that I have done.

I healed a broken heart, and in the process found a piece of myself that I never knew existed.

I found independence, I learned how to reach peace.

I was offered a highly demanding position that I may not have been able to dedicate myself to in the past.

So much has changed in the last 3 years, and the entire time I had a sanctuary to retire to at the end of the night.

A place to be alone, a place to shut out the world and through everything I learned to find comfort in silence.

A place for my girls and I to cry, and a place for the 3 of us to learn and navigate our new life.

I know this sounds like a down and depressing post, and part of it is. But that’s Real Life, and you can be happy and have a broken heart at the same time.

During all the life changes I found love again, we are now engaged and joining homes.

I’m so excited to join my life with such an amazing woman, and at the same time my heart breaks for the loss of a piece of me.

Sometimes it’s hard to let go, even when you see such an extraordinary future. The past fades away with time, but the changes made during that time guide the path for the future.

The Search, Healthy living Continues – Sugar in our Blood


Over the last few years I have been digging deeper and deeper into my health, fitness, strength training and physical activity levels and it’s very clear that the “healthcare professionals” are not always correct when it comes to diet, and healthy living. Please understand that I am in no way criticizing our healthcare system, however I truly believe that they are learning from very outdated material at best.

As new breakthroughs come to light and we learn the truths about the human body the material they continue to teach is just not being updated.

What we were always taught; Follow the food pyramid, you can’t eat after a certain time, fat makes you fat, breakfast is the most important meal of the day, and the 100s of things we thought to be fact are simply not fact at all.

Through my search for healthy living some things stand out as a huge difference from what we knew growing up.

  1. The food pyramid was partly created and modeled from the basic way to sustain life in our troops as they fight wars and battles. Years later we are still teaching the old, outdated, misconstrued information.
  2. Fat does not make you fat, mixing fat and carbs can cause us to over eat and to create a struggle for our body to breakdown the contrasting energy sources.
  3. The Breakfast myth, it is not the most important meal, in fact there is no most important meal at all. When you eat is not as important as what and how you eat.

Lately I have been focusing more on blood sugar and glycogen levels. Fat cannot be burned while you have a presence of insulin, and insulin is present when you eat hi glycemic foods such as some carbohydrates. I’m not saying carbohydrates are bad, they can be an amazing source of energy, however we over consume carbohydrates and do not live the lifestyles of the past. We are lazy, we do not farm our food, we have food 24/7 and really do not have to do any work to get the food. Our balance in life has tipped.

Today I began to track my blood sugar levels and dig deeper into how it impacts my body. I plan on testing how my body responds to foods, exercise, and the lifestyle I live. My goal is to understand a deeper level of how the things I put in my body affect my body.

Some of the tests I plan to do and possibly cover in Real Life / War on Sugar are to test my normal routine to get a baseline and incorporate some of the food I eat on a normal basis. Including cheat meals, alcohol, hi and low carb days as well as my intermittent fasting OMAD (one meal a day). I’m excited to see how my body processes the foods and drinks I intake.

Time To Try Something New


Some changes are so small you hardly notice them, day after day the small changes almost seem irrelevant to our lives, until the day the small things add up to the life changes that whispers to our heart “you know, nothing will ever be the same after this one”.

I use to live in fear of change, just keep it the same and nothing bad will happen. Day after day, living as if nothing can change that will make anything better. It’s strange how losing things can give you more and how sometimes we fail to see it as the best part of living. One day I will be too old and frail to make the big changes in life, and if I live life fearful of changes all I will have later is regret for not embracing the changes I wish I would have in my youth. Regret is a very hard pill to swallow.

I have said 2018 is going to be a great year, but I didn’t see this coming so quickly. Soon I will have join lives with 3 more girls, making our guy/girl ratio 5 to 1, well 6 to 1 if you count the dog, and the fish is even a girl i’m pretty sure.

Most men would cringe at the thought of having 4 girls, two at 13, one 15 and one 17 in the same house, but I couldn’t be more excited at the challenge and to be a part of the lives of some pretty great girls. This experience is nothing less than amazing when you think of the relationship we all have.

Imagine having a beer with your fiancees ex-husband, well its something I truly enjoy and look forward to when we get together at games and the girls events. Its an honor that I have his blessing to stand with him in the lives of his daughters. I know it takes a special man to hold that privilege. Now that is living, that is love and that is the example we want for our girls. I don’t care what you have done or who you are to me, respect me and my girls and I’ll respect you.

We are all human, we all fall down, its how you get back up and move on with a smile that sets us apart.

I have to be realistic, I know there will be some days I might want to buy a one way ticket to anywhere but here, however, it’s an honor to have the life I have. What a blessing to be where I am and with the people I have the opportunity to write more pages in the book of Scott.

I never thought I would leave Portage, but now I’m excited to try something new and open another chapter in life. I’m not sure what I’ll name this chapter but I’m sure its going to be full of many more Real Life posts. For now live full, love deep and let life come as it is.. Cheers to the next chapter.

Only For a Brief Moment


Some people come into our lives for a brief moment, some stay for years. Some enter our lives gentle and quiet and some come like a storm. The day I met the man referred to as “Barry“, I remember it like yesterday, and if you knew Barry, you will understand. Barry was an energy force all of his own.

The day we collided, we were standing about 10 feet apart on the beach watching our children play in the sand, no words, nothing but a glance and nod, “you know, manly acknowledgement” because “hello” was to hard to get out when you meet someone new.

It wasn’t long after that the 10 foot separation between us was now completely gone as we watched our children play together as proud fathers, almost saying to one another “look what I made” as we  talk about our children and how great they are.

They say people have energy about them, I fully believe this to be true. That day my energy met someone with the similar energy. As we began to toss jokes back and forth, most people do one of two things. One, they laugh, but clearly they do not get my sense of humor or two send a joke back and see if I get it. This to me is how funny people are different from normal everyday people. Funny is a language of its own, and my friend you spoke it amazingly well.

We spent the rest of that day sipping on “dad juice” and laughing until our stomachs hurt. I guess we passed the test, and our families met later that day. The rest of the weekend was a blur, as were the years to follow.

There are many stories, many long nights filled with laughter, late night random texts and phone calls.

“A butterfly lights beside us like a sunbeam.
And for a brief moment its glory and beauty
belong to our world.
But then it flies on again,
and though we wish it could have stayed,
we feel so lucky to have seen it.”

It all came to a stop to soon, and I miss you already my friend, I texted back but it was a day late. I called back, however the owner of the number is no longer taking phone calls.

So like many loved ones, I sit here and remember the times we shared, the nights I thought I couldn’t drink anymore, (but you proved me wrong) the laughter, the times our families were able to spend together.

I’d give all that up if I could have talked to you just one more time and tell you how much you impacted my life and that everything will be ok one day. We will never get to finish the conversation we started in the picture above and my heart breaks that I may have missed your quiet cry for help.

To everyone reading this, please do not struggle alone… ASK FOR HELP, it is a sign of strength not weakness. Even two little words can set in motion a cascade of help. “help me”. I do not know one person that if asked would say “no, I can’t help” to someone that needs it.

Life is a fragile and precious gift, its our duty as fellow humans to reach out when people are in that dark place, and to be the light in someones dark time. We all struggle from time to time, we all have been in dark places. Remember when you had help and be that to someone else.